Hunting Moonbats

The anti-freedom party. We must have laws for everything. That is the moonbat way.

It’s illegal to enter into an economic transaction which might include a fondling of your nether regions by a total stranger… UNLESS that stranger happens to work for the Government, and you want to fly, in that case- it's ok. (Hit that key word above-you'll love the link.)

Here in Boise, the land of eternal autumn, it's easy to locate and find moonbats. They are confined to an area of town referred to by locals as the "north end." They congregate at a place called the "co-op."

For the record, I hate moonbats. Not only do they think of themselves as intellectually superior to the hoi polloi, but they want to legislate how everyone else lives because the inferior hoi polloi are far too stupid to conduct their own lives. That is how a moonbat thinks.

Moonbats don't want freedom for you. Just for them. You can't be trusted. It never occurs to a moonbat that while they are busy passing laws to govern everything you do- they are stripping all of us of our freedom and turning us into a nanny/police state. This is precisely why we kicked England's ass 240 years ago. Another ass kicking looms.

Every once in awhile, when I am feeling exceptionally angry, I like to hunt moonbats. Often they travel in groups and congregate. 

In north Boise- we have a market called the "co-op." This is a target rich environment. Hundreds of moonbats. A bag of groceries at the co-op costs about one hundred and fifty dollars. The parking lot is littered with Audis' Volvos', Priuses', Subarus'- vehicles with racks and rocket boxes on them, stuff like that. The "co-op" sells these "blue girl, red state" bumper stickers. Those stickers are 100% indicative that the possessor is a moonbat. This is absolutely fail safe.

Moonbats wear sandals, shorts, and fashionable tree hugging gear. Current fashion is a big deal. Make up is frowned upon but tolerated. You see a lot of tie dye, earth tones, a few tattoos. Long hair on men is back in. 

The most judgmental person on the planet is a moonbat. They however-don't see themselves that way. They are self deluded. They think everyone is entitled to their intelligence and they become highly offended when you exercise your own judgment which is counter to their own. Like Obama. You see in their minds- all issues were settled long ago by them. Whether that is recycling trash, global warming, or helmet laws. Recently in Boise, the moonbats passed an anti smoking law that essentially prohibits you from smoking anywhere. Twenty feet from the entrance to any building except your own house.

Everyone knows smoking is bad. Kicking a dead horse is a moonbat specialty. Moonbats rally when it is safe to do so. Show me a moonbat and I will show you a stone cold coward.

I secretly want to recruit a bunch of bums to hang out twenty one feet from the entrance to the co-op and light up cigarettes. I would then watch as moonbats exit the store, have complete nervous breakdowns aka shit hemorrhages- and call the police on their I phones.

The trick to hunting moonbats is to first identify your quarry. Find one that is exceptionally judgmental and intolerant of others. I like to hunt female moonbats. Isolate them- and then divide and conquer. In a private little conversation, mention something like "isn't it odd that we have laws forcing us to recycle trash, or wear bicycle helmets, yet killing an unborn child is legal?

This always pisses the moonbats off. My thanks to Ann Coulter.

The difference between a moonbat and a libertarian is simple. A moonbat wants to legislate and change the whole world to suit them- a libertarian wants the exact opposite. We want freedom and liberty and then leave us alone. Moonbats and libertarians are diametrically opposed. We are supposed to hate each other and we do. We are the yin and the yang.

Republicans don't even fit in the conversation. I'd probably lump their agenda in with the moonbats. I know, I know...the GOP thinks they're different. I'm still trying to discern that alleged difference via Robama, Oromney.

Moonbats also tend to be atheistic or at least agnostic. They simply can't conceive anything greater than themselves. And they don't. Therefore the matter is closed. With the moonbats running the world, what could possibly go wrong?

Look, this is the way I see it. Right now the moonbats and the socialists are in charge. They have the upper hand. I feel the oppressive bite of nanny government and the moonbats everywhere. Even that numbskull President of theirs thinks he will be re-elected. The GOP will mount another furious effort at nominating the biggest moonbat they can find. McCain last time, McRomney this time. Gawd it's like being dragged behind a car.

I can't do anything about any of that. I'm powerless. The only thing I can do is find a moonbat and take it out on them. Think I'll go grab a sandwich at the co-op.


angrywombat said…
Another fun thing to annoy a moonbat is to ask them to explain the moronic COEXIST bumper sticker on their Prius and then make them explain how others can coexist with a religion that demands that non-believers convert or be killed.
Anonymous said…
I have been reading you for a while now, but this column just sent me over the edge, laughing all the way. I am going to be stealing your examples and use them with the moonbats here in the SF Bay area where I presently reside. Keep up the good work.
Anonymous said…
Just found your site linked on the BS Guardian. I'm hooked. A little strange but so true. Thanks.
Brian said…
Thanks you guys...

Bang on! Government solutions are generally worse than the problems they create. Good hunting!
Anonymous said…
Good piece-still in the Paul camp?

Because nothng says batshit crazy like a live and let live attitude towards Iran.
Brian said…
Yes. I am still a libertarian. Policing the world is an impossible task. Ultimately it has to fail.

The middle east is nothing new. We' ve seen this coming for decades.. in fact the moonbats even formed the department of energy. A horrific waste of money designed to free us from the use of oil...instead we have done just the opposite. We rely on those bastards and their oil far more than we ever have. Why is not a mystery.

When the elite bastards start sending their own sons and daughters to war...until God delivers unlimited funds and unlimited lives to waste..there will always be another Iran, Iraq, Russia, Libya, Yemen, Saudi, Muslim, Terrorist, boogie man war to fight.

It will never end. All funded by your friendly central bank.
Grumpyunk said…
The time is coming when hunting the moonbats will be taking on a much more literal meaning.
Anonymous said…
I like the idea of the bums and smokes !!!!
Anonymous said…
Dude, I love that commitment to nuttiness. I'm not talking about "policing the world" I'm on board with the idea of lobbing the head off of our enemy in Iran and let whoever is left sort their own shit out.

The best defense as they say.

Hey I come back here because you write well.
Brian said…
You have captured my heart. God bless ya!

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