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Friday, May 4, 2012

Undisclosed Elitist Buys Painting for 120 Million, You Can See It Here For Free

I can't imagine what it must be like. Having an ego so large and demanding, that it insists that you spend 120 million dollars on one painting. Here's the best part. Somewhere out there, perhaps in the future, is an ego so enormous that one day it will pay even more for that piece of canvas. That is the insanity of man.

The buyer can't disclose himself for any number of reasons that are relatively easy to speculate on. Now that the big bidding war is over, what comes next?

Do buyers have to pay sales tax?

Where do you show your 120 million dollar prize? How do you protect it? Do you stare at it every night in an effort to get your money's worth?

Ya know what? I'm gonna post a picture of it here for free. You may stare at it as long as you like. Days, if need be.


Doesn't it just send chills up your spine? I'll tell ya this much. If I ever get my hands on an extra 150 million or so- I'd like to get my hands on one of these. Or just have the neighbor kids whip out one with some crayons. As a matter of fact, I got one just like this on the fridge.

Nothing makes me laugh harder than a bunch of art connoisseurs oogling at something like this and offering their various interpretations of what the painting represents. I do the same thing with motorcycles. I wonder how fast they are. And because they are only forged steel, they are a lot less expensive. Wow.

Get Ready, Here It Comes, The VAT or Value Added Tax

The statists will never quit.

Nothing pisses me off more than reading some liberal piece of shit like this- extolling the virtues of a VAT- "Because, don't ya know- everyone else has a they must be good."


Frankendamus Chimes In With The Ground Zero Report on Our Shitty Economy

The April employment report is in. Try as hard as he does, even President Spin can't polish this turd. But I'll be damned if the media doesn't try and do it for him anyway.

For decades, business and government were in the habit of fleecing American consumers for every last penny that they could get their greedy hands on.

Now suddenly, 88 million people have left the workforce. That is GINORMOUS.

Here's the best part. They act like they just can't understand why. It's a fucking mystery to them.

Here at Frankenstein Government, I often find myself in the translation business. This is where I explain what is going on. Kind of like George Carlin without the intelligence or humor.

Obviously our first problem is that American corporations have offshored 30 or 40 million jobs over the last decade or two. What remains- are these shitty service jobs that are part time or don't pay anything. They don't pay health insurance. The government taxes everything in sight. It costs us an additional hours' salary just for gas to get to the damn job and back. Inflation is out of control and we can't even get a return on our money if we have any money left- because the banker bastards have destroyed interest rates. Gawd help you if you need childcare. After everything gets priced in- transportation costs, taxes, shitty salary, childcare expenses...guess what? Working for less than ten bucks an hour is not possible, it's a non starter for many and people won't do it. Or can't do it.

Employers can't pay anything because government has regulated and taxed them to death. Businesses remaining stateside can't compete with offshore labor pools. Some businesses are just insanely greedy- think Verizon- paying CEOs insane wages while offering chump change to their workers. Mandatory insurance costs for things like workman's comp are ridiculous in every state.

So the entire system capitulates and says fuck it. About 88 million or so. People become part of the "we don't pay taxes and we work for cash because we have to- economy."

Here's the very best part. We owe 16 trillion in debt. If there is one person in America right now that thinks we can pay down 16,000 billion worth of debt with 88 million people out of work and 88 million other people making ten bucks an hour- good luck with that pretzel math. That's the same pretzel math your government uses while allowing hundreds of corporations like GE to escape billions of dollars worth of taxes.

We have a structural problem that cannot go away without serious reform. Since the great collapse- our greatest minds have embarked on a "print more money and give it away" strategy and have not done a damn thing to attack the underlying cause of our economic malaise.

One last thing. Don't confuse the stock market with a healthy economy. The FED has printed and funneled every last dollar that it can into the stock market by essentially destroying every other investment vehicle. The only option left is to print money to eternity- which reminds me- I gotta go buy some more silver today.

Airlines Now Effectively Pricing Themselves Out of Existence

So yesterday, I read about Spirit Air charging 100 dollars for a piece of carry on luggage. Those kinds of business decisions ultimately lead to business failures.

It made me wonder. Does Spirit Air think they have some captive audience that loves to fly? Are they under the impression that we all enjoy paying excessive ticket prices, taxes for everything including the TSA army, another 100 bucks for a bag, standing in lines, getting searched, being bumped on overbooked flights and crammed into sardine like seating arrangements? Not to mention crappy weather, late arrival and departure times, and the occasional mechanical failure or drunken pilot...

Apparently Spirit Airlines thinks they are offering some free ride with drinks on a mechanical bull.

I have never owned an airline stock. I'd be shorting them if anything. They are the worst investments on the planet. I also hate to is such a pain in the ass that I avoid it at all costs. In fact, I will only fly one airline- Southwest. If Southwest doesn't go there, I'm probably coming by Harley Davidson or Hyundai.

Southwest has never augured a plane in, they only fly one one type of plane so that every pilot and mechanic know it by heart, and they practice seating communism sprinkled with a little bullshit here and there- which I especially love- after the chapter and verse we get listening to tight assed ticket agents, car rental agents, and TSA drones.

Here's my rule for flying. The trip length has to be in excess of 1000 miles. Or beyond two days of leisurely ground travel. If I can't plan something better than that I just don't do it. I no longer want to do those one day, 1000 mile humps from Chicago to Denver at 85 MPH. But I might. Especially if airlines keep up their price gouging ways.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Beauty Queen Whips Boyfriend's Ass

I am reminded of that saying placed at the bottom of a giant poster featuring a gorgeous, young, blonde woman. Somewhere, some man, is tired of putting up with her shit.

So apparently it is with Mr. Nickerson. Behold the before and after photos. The marvels of modern makeup and our absolute pre-occupation with all things superficial.

Corporate America Whines About Lack of Skilled Workers, Does Nothing To Solve Problem

Corporate or media drivel? Hard to say. Let's suppose for a moment that it's the corporate world. 

For the last year or so, I've been stumbling across news stories wherein corporate America whines about the dearth of educated or highly skilled workers. Here's an example.

At first blush, I assumed that line of thinking was correct and never gave it much thought. Poor corporate America. Looking for skilled workers, finding none, and then what? Whining about it, off shoring jobs? Are Americans just too stupid to grasp the needs of a rapidly changing corporate world? Are we unwilling to re-educate ourselves? Of course not.

This is what pisses me off.

Corporate America wants to raid the intellectual property of Americans and pay chump change. They steal retirement accounts, benefits, reduce wages, perform every little chicken shit thing they can do to cut costs and enrich "shareholder" value. Yet CEO salaries have gone "supernova" increasing 100 times or more in the last twenty years. It is nothing for the hierarchy of a corporate structure to pay themselves annual salaries from 5-50 million.

They also expect highly educated and skilled workers to pay for themselves. In other words, they do nothing to partner with individuals and actually train them. They want you to go to school, blow 100k or so on an education, and then your corporate masters will pick and choose who they will hire and set some ridiculously low entry level salary.

All of this of course is a case of diminishing returns. School is hard. You set aside years of your life, struggle like hell to get by and make grades, take on debt somewhere around the level of your eyeballs, and then throw yourselves at the mercy of a corporate world that doesn't give two shits about you or your future. The only thing it cares about is ever widening margins. So students or more accurately, potential workers, are far more reluctant to wade into a waterhole filled with so many predators and risks. Gee, go figure. God help you if you actually make a mistake or two or manage to get yourself "fired." Career suicide.

Yet sociopathic corporations are baffled- they can't fathom the lack of skilled workers. Wow. Mostly they helped create this mess and now they are mystified.  So in keeping with my traditions- let me offer a solution to all of you poor corporations that just can't find the help that you need.

How about you step up to the plate? It goes like this. You want skilled workers? How about identifying and sponsoring the schooling of individuals and contracting with them? What prevents corporate America from paying for the intellectual costs of the people they so desperately need? Absolutely nothing. Why not train them yourselves? Why not start up your own specialized schools and help Americans avoid the atrocious costs, including books, and the outright pillaging of American students in a university system that has gone nuts?

Corporate America, more so than any other piece of this puzzle, has created the problem it whines about now. Yet they offer no solution. It's as though they are hostages, or victims, having fallen prey to a society of zombies that simply can't grasp  their needs or that is unwilling to step up to the plate. All of this while corporate hierarchies are stealing every last million that isn't nailed down.Yea, I'm all choked up. Let me grab a Kleenex.

If corporate America wants different results- they ought to think about trying something different. I don't find the whole "lack of skilled workers" particularly baffling. The part that baffles me I suppose- is that part where CEO's pay themselves ungodly salaries, to solve problems, yet run around and whine when they can't find the workers they need. If that Ivy league education of yours is so valuable- please by all means- use it.

Monday, April 30, 2012

You Mecca Me Hot and Other Ground Zero Business Ideas

One of those emails making the rounds...

     I am truly perplexed that so many people are against a mosque being built at Ground Zero. I think it should be the goal of every American to be tolerant.
Thus the Mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance. That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the
mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call
one of the clubs, "The Turban Cowboy", which would be gay, and the other a topless bar called, "You Mecca Me Hot."
  Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called "Iraq o' Ribs."
  Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins with short burkas in the window
modeling the goods.
  Next door to the lingerie shop, a liquor store called "Morehammered."
  All of this would encourage the Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so the mosque problem would be solved.
  If you agree with promoting tolerance, and you think this is a good plan, please pass it on, for the sake of tolerance.

The Great Anti Blogger and Other Dutch Bags

Warning! We interrupt your regularly scheduled Disney style writing to bring you this profane rant. If you don't like profanity, leave now and go over to Huffpo. That's where the pussies, girly men, and socialists congregate.

This is my 1500th post.

Locked away in my mother's basement with nothing on but some undies with holes near the elastic, I hump this keyboard. Three years' worth.

This is the kind of writing that a 9th grade education gets you. Kids, stay in school. Or drop out and go into the Navy. Do something useful with your lives. But whatever you decide to do- don't become a writer. The world does not need one more writer.

Fucking waste of energy.

So a couple of years ago, I am in a grocery store where a man named Larry* a politician in Moonbat Valley, is fondling eggplant. I never liked this guy. He's a rich little bastard, born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Went to boarding schools and shit. That kind of guy.

He is one of those guys who hates me. He hates me because I write nasty shit about him and expose some dirty laundry here and there. So I think all of this is fair, this mutual hatred that I started and that we share. Of course, I hate eggplant too. I have only seen women eat eggplant.

So anyway, the great anti blogger Larry says, "You still giving your opinions on everything?" This is the kind of thing that guys like him say. They call these things "passive aggressive." When you break it down into it's parts, that sort of question is really not a question at all. It is much easier and far more direct- to just call me an asshole. When I was a kid we declared people who said shit like that, pussies, and we beat the hell out of them. Things were settled so much quicker than the long and drawn out judicial proceedings that we are now forced to endure.

Larry, gawd help you if you say something like that to me again. I will stick that eggplant up your ass and collect my first battery ticket.

This is what I wanted to say today, mainly to my bloggers in arms. Thank you for being the maniacs that you are. Thank you Republican Mother for being a staunch libertarian, refusing to use profanity, and supporting Ron Paul who somehow has become the Republican anti-christ. Thank you WireCutter for being a funny bastard and a good ol fashioned cop hater. Thank you Irish, for the softcore porn you put up. Thank you Arctic Patriot for your resistance. Always on Watch I appreciate your government hating ways. And thank you Dave in Denver and Jim G. for your insightful writing and optimism.Thank you to those I have missed.

Be true to your selves and write like you mean it. Don't let the lurkers, clingers, trolls, and dutch bags get you down. Thank you for enriching my life and thank you for your courage. Now get the hell out of here and find something to write about.

The One Year Anniversary Of The Great Silver Manipulation

One year ago this week, silver was poised to crack 50 bucks an ounce. Those of us, long metals in general and holding physical silver, were about to reap the rewards of our foresight. I had been planning on unloading part of my position.

And then the bastards changed the rules.

The CME hiked margin rates 6 times and nearly 100% in such a short time- that it absolutely ruined the silver market and reduced leverage to an unheard of 6-1. It took every small player out of play. The market has never recovered. Here is a fantastic Reuter's story that really details what the silver manipulators did to stop silver dead in its tracks. You'll note that over a three year period- they  hiked margin rates nearly 200%. Think about that for a moment.

Why? Why did the CME do that to silver? Who gives two shits about silver? Why don't they do that with oil? Everyone uses oil, don't they?

The answer unfortunately, is really very simple. It is all about the golden rule. He who has the gold- makes the rules.   

Precious metals are money. They compete against that worthless fiat that the FED dreams up and prints. JP Morgan is a member arm of the FED. So it shorts the entire precious metals complex. In a world not gone completely mad- it should be illegal for banks to short metals. They are actually able to manipulate their competitors and ruin the free market forces of competition. The best metaphor I can draw is this. Suppose I own an auto parts store. The guy across the street opens a store. I am able to pass an ordinance that allows me to price the parts that my competitor sells. Of course, I price everything he sells significantly higher than my own parts which I sell significantly lower. I put him out of business. The CME put rising silver prices out of business.

I wish I could tell you that this metaphor is absurd. But it's not. When you buy silver you are shorting currency. You are saying I believe precious metals have greater value. In a world run by bankers and funny money- they can't allow the masses to do that sort of thing. Oil is a little different animal.

So why don't they hike oil margins 200% and kill the speculators in oil thereby reducing the price? Answer-they don't want to. Unlike silver, everyone uses oil. The great powers, the oil producers and Wall Street would be hopping mad. It makes no sense to ruin oil markets so that a bunch of sheep could get some price relief. Why would they do that? They already have you owned. They get to fleece you at will. And that is precisely what has happened during the last two months. As demand has fallen off a cliff- prices have not budged.

Markets are just as effectively rigged as my auto parts store metaphor. That is the nature of things. Eventually greedy men will take advantage of any system and manipulate it. I think that is absolutely natural. Ultimately precious metals will break free of paper constraints and gap up so significantly it will take your breath away. When banks and governments realize that they can no longer control the precious metals complex- they will have one last desperate attempt to control, tax, seize, or outlaw precious metals. Of course at that point- and historically- most of us will tell them to go fuck themselves.

I just hope it happens in my lifetime. It will be fun to watch.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Only a Black Guy Can Say This and Get Away With It

On Trayvon Martin. With precision.

"We Should Have Picked Our Own Cotton"...The Sunday Collage

Every time we exploit someone, there always seems to be consequences. I mean was it really necessary for half a million people to die over cotton?

The greatest trick that any capitalist ever pulled- was finding and exploiting some sort of slave labor pool and then loudly proclaiming that you are creating jobs and helping people. Announcing to the world that you are some sort of humanitarian while splashing a few charitable donations around and making sure people know about them.

Like strip clubs, whorehouses, and lottery boards donating money to schools. That's how the world gets greased. In the end- immense profits come by way of exploiting workers while convincing every one that you are the one doing them a favor and not the other way around.

Like this. Wasting your money is good for the rest of us. In fact, it's downright patriotic. We said so. ---The Oregon Lottery

 Immigrants have always been easily exploitable. There were African slaves picking cotton, the Chinese building our railroads, South Pacific islanders hacking sugar cane and pineapples, the Irish and the Cornish dying in the mines in Butte. Lithuanians and Slavs and other immigrants working in Chicago slaughterhouses.

Many died on the job making chump change. No health and safety rules. No benefits.

After those drawn out ordeals through the annals of time, American workers went through an enchanted period. That was the day of collective bargaining and unions. And for a while that worked. The elite made their vast profits and workers finally got a decent wage. But oh how the elite hated those slimmer margins. They couldn't exploit people enough to satisfy their own greed. Sooner or later they'd find a way around the constraints of paying people livable wages.

With no slave labor to exploit locally, American business found illegal immigrants in the 90's. Mostly home builders and landscapers so that banks could make loans and re-sell them. Millions of them. All government did was turn a blind eye, grease banks and suppliers, and pass the infrastructure burden of millions of illegal aliens onto taxpayers. The problem with importing a slave labor pool of homebuilders and landscapers is that once they are on U.S. soil, U.S. employers had to comply with U.S. labor laws. Those "do gooder" capitalists saw their margins shrink- once again.

Thankfully, we had the real estate bust- which ended that tidal wave.

Soon the capitalists would identify the next great slave labor pool on foreign soil. In Mexico, the Pac Rim, India, and China. The big corporate leviathans found new markets with exploitable workers- having shit in their own nest in the U.S. That is what capitalists do. It's all about making the most money possible while handing out starvation wages. That's Apple and Foxconn in China. The poor bastards working at Foxconn live at the work site...afraid to leave and be replaced. With a labor pool of 1.6 billion, the capitalists have the upper hand.

So it is- that Steve Jobs was just another capitalist finding a way to exploit cheap workers and expand margins. Hardly a novelty. Plenty is never enough- for guys like that.

I was thinking about all of that tonight as I watched people fiddling around with their fucking phones. What in the hell did we do with ourselves, prior to cell phones? It's a national obsession. A whole population of adults with electronic pacifiers. It's pathetic, mostly. Greed seems to fuel it all. I couldn't help but think that we should have just picked our own cotton. Or built our own cellphones here. These things, it seems, always have a way of biting us in the ass.