I Couldn't Attend the Funeral- But I Sent a Nice Letter of Approval

 I was lost and now I am found.

A month or so ago, I was messing around with my control panel and managed to lose everything on my computer before re-installing it.

This is what happens when you barely have enough know how to turn your computer on and then attempt to change all the settings.

Anyhow, what was lost is now found. After an ample amount of work and cursing.

In the comments, I saw an old friend ask if I was still around. To MM and my 3 other readers, yes, and while I have achieved a level of writer's block that has me wondering if I should have even bothered to restore the settings on my laptop- I am still here looking for new subject matter.

This morning I was perusing the old town's newspaper when I came across the obituary of a former colleague of mine. I am so used to feeling a sense of loss every time one of my old friends die- that I have never felt an opposite emotion. A bit of glee when an old enemy left this earthly coil.

Now I've never gone looking for enemies. Most of my life has been spent waiting for them to arrive. They just show up.

Now most of that I'm told, is my attitude. 

So about 25 years ago now, I am sitting in my office when one of the city's deputy clerks comes into my office. She is upset that kids are toilet papering her trees. She wants to know what to do.

Now at this stage in our relationship- I hardly know this gal. I see her around City Hall once in awhile. Because she is a fellow city worker, I tend to be more truthful and direct than I might be with a random member of the public.

I tell her she could get some cameras and offer some other suggestions, but I tell her most likely- we will not be able to catch these kids. They will hear or see our patrol cars and then run and hide.

She said nothing else, stood up and left. Little did I know that I had just created an enemy. No doubt, my fault. That is what I am always told.

So for the next four years, this gal did everything she could to heap misery on my life. Demanding receipts for inconsequential items listed on charge cards, telling coworkers I was an asshole, trying to get me in trouble or fired by the City Manager and the Mayor. All of it failed of course, but it damaged my reputation enough that it helped aid my early departure.

One day, this gal walked into my office and said she hated me. From the moment we met. I was dumbfounded by her. Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. She assured me, once again, that it was all my fault.

She was an east coast liberal. I was a conservative, western farm kid. We were probably doomed from the start.

So when I saw her obituary today, I had a different sort of feeling. I was kind of happy. It felt strange. I had dreaded seeing her at the old Chief's funeral this summer but as it turns out- she was fighting a cancer diagnosis of her own.

I often wonder if all that malignant hatred people have festering inside them can cause physical illness. 

Perhaps, her death, was my fault too.