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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Frankenstein Government's Anti-TV Challenge

Well I made it four months. May to August. The satellite guy is here as I write. I gave him a few shots of Jagermeister and I think he just fell off the roof. Some gawd awful noise out back. Maybe the crack addicts next door had to flee for cover. Probably mistook the Direct TV logo on his blue shirt for a sew on cop badge.

Last week it dawned on me. Holy shit! Football season is here and all I have is PBS. As that realization hit me- the final nail in my TV coffin came yesterday as I surfed around on the intarwebs. Direct TV is giving away the NFL package. Which means that now, I can watch the best NFL team in the nation- the New Orleans Saints- any Sunday. How sweet is that?

And the Boise State Broncos anywhere they go because they switched conferences and TV carriers.

Ok, so I am a weak assed loser. I caved in like Kramer on Seinfeld. But at least I am a weak assed loser with gobs of football on TV. And none of that wussy soccer shit. Hits so vicious that mens' heads pop off. Bloody men leaving on golf carts, waving to fans as they very nearly lose consciousness from the pain. That's the American way. Football. Gawd I love football. All of that for some worthless federal reserve notes. I can't believe Direct TV is still taking them. Suckers. Let me just pay in cash. Muhahaha!

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