A Mid-Summer Ride, With Some Funny Shit, Part One

"97% of the time I am right, so who cares about the other 4%?
         - some fat kid coming out of a truck stop in Columbus, Mt.

Well it's finally over now. I am sitting here with a bruised and swollen left arm, the second and third toes on my right foot may need to be amputated, my legs cramp intermittently, I have sunburnt my balding scalp so badly that I woke up with a headache and immediately took three ibuprofen this morning. Oh, and we're out of coffee.

So I got all that going for me.

I wrapped up our ride to the Black Hills yesterday with a 600 and something mile, Billings to Boise, speedapalooza. The Road King has layers of bugs on it. I put it in the garage last night. I may never ride it again.

Our annual mid summer motorcycle odyssey began on Tuesday. Our target was the Black Hills.

Getting to Idaho Falls is pretty easy. I use SH 20, watch for deer and other suicidal creatures, and speed a little. When I get to the Moonbat Valley highway junction, I instinctively want to turn left and head home- something I did for 25 years. Nowadays, I just flip off Moonbat Valley and head east into Carey.

I spent the first night in "I.F." because that was our departure point. One of our riders, my cousin in law Jason, decided he could not go. That was a huge blow. This was the first time Jason would not be with us. So I'm not going to dwell on what a pussy thing it was to bail out on us at the last minute. Jason will just have to live with the shame and guilt for the rest of his life. Jason did offer to barbeque some carne asada which was excellent- plus as a bonus- I enjoyed watching everyone get their drink on. That was fun. In what would be a foreshadowing event, it rained during the barbeque. The Road King acquired a fine layer of maple syrup from one of Jason's trees. I was the only person at the car wash at 1130 pm that Tuesday night.

So there would only be three of us. Troy, Dave, and I. Jason was staying home with his husband.

On Wednesday morning, Dave was a no show for breakfast and over an hour late, so everything seemed to be operating normally for us.

It was sunny out and the trip into Jackson Hole, Wy. was beautiful. I spent a winter in Jackson once delivering food during the Carter depression. The little town of Victor had grown rather large since then and Jackson Hole was still busy as ever. We got some gas, Troy yelled at a woman who was patiently waiting for a car wash, and we loitered around a bit. By the time we got done screwing off at the gas station, the gal in the car had moved up two or three spots in her line. I remember thinking how lazy we have all gotten. Sitting around waiting for a car wash. She was still four cars back.

The ride out of Jackson and by the Tetons was majestic. I never get tired of that beauty. The Tetons might just be the most spectacular shards of rock in the lower 48.

A couple of funny things happened on the way to our first stop, Thermopolis, Wy. Dave took a bee strike directly under his right eye. His eye swelled up. We missed a "cut off" road and had to double back but it was only a few miles- and it began raining on us- hard enough that we parked the bikes for ten minutes or so.

We were supposed to stay at some campground but we didn't like it. So we found a little motel with a crazy woman running it. We knew she was crazy when one of the other guests said she was crazy and told us not to stay there. We did anyway. We like crazy. Troy and I slept in the same bed. Troy is kind of a homophobe so I knew he would reject any nocturnal advances. The only opinion Dave voiced the entire trip had to do with claiming the room's couch as his own.

After dinner, we found some place that serves ice cream and has a putt putt golf course. So we had the first of three road championships.

It was neck and neck up until the sixteenth hole, a hole called "volcano." That's when the wheels fell off of both Dave and Troys' game. They took sixes (the agreed upon maximum score) on volcano and I cruised to an easy victory. I might have rubbed it in just a bit.

The next day we stopped at my uncle's place in Buffalo, Wy. There is always some sort of shooting of the guns that takes place whenever we show up at his house. Uncle Lynn had just stolen an AR-15 for 750.00 bucks so we were shooting that off the back deck when Lynn hands me these explosive canisters filled with phosphorous and gun powder. We stuck them in a big pile of sand. I began shooting at the first one and actually managed to hit it but it didn't explode. We stuck the second one in the sand and I burned through a box of ammo- 20 rounds- trying to hit it but it remained unscathed.

Troy grabbed the gun and nailed it on the very first shot as Dave videoed the explosion. This was a horrible thing for me. Troy reminded me on numerous occasions over the next few days what a loser of a marksman I was. Retired cop loser. In fact, he told me that he would be reading this blog to make sure the truth was told.

From Buffalo, it is only about 150 miles to Deadwood, S.D.  

I love Deadwood. It is historic and beautiful. I think I like Lead (sister city) even better. Lead has not been turned into a tourist area with all those bullshit store fronts and casinos. Lead has the same late 1800's architecture (and it is all still standing) that I grew up with in Butte. Including a giant gold mining pit in the center of town. I think I could live in Lead rather easily.

I am going to plug Hidden Valley campground here. It is 5 miles south of Deadwood and gorgeous. Rates were reasonable and the new owner, Jason, is a good guy. We pitched camp, went back to town and gambled, and came home. We skipped the fireworks in Lead when we noted that the streets were crammed with people hours before nightfall. The next day, I found out from some of the locals that a guy had shot and killed himself in front of everybody at the fireworks viewing area that night. I have seen enough of that shit for a lifetime- so I was pretty happy that we missed another episode of that. It rained on us throughout the night.



The next morning, I decided to play in a poker tournament at the "No. 10" casino. I'd like to deviate and tell you a couple of things here. Most of you know I have spent a lifetime playing poker. I'm pretty good at it. I have also played in hundreds of tournaments on line and live. I win at least one in 10- or 15 tournaments I play in. I usually place in the money about 20% of the time. The other 70% of the time- I lose. Even though I lose 70% of the time, my numbers in tournaments are actually pretty good. I use hitting a baseball as a metaphor. A great hitter only connects 3 out of 10 times.

I always try to win. I hate being the first loser, 2nd place.

There was only 11 people in this tournament. I think it was probably the smallest tournament I have ever been in. The casino added one hundred bucks. They played until there were only two players and then they split the prize pool 60/40. I liked that. I identified my only two "real" opponents in the game early on.

Eventually there was only the three of us. I had pocket sixes against pocket fives on my right. All three of us were in. When the flop came 9-9-5, I knew the chances of anyone having a nine was low. I could beat anyone with a five. I was first to act and I put a lot of chips in- and consequently I lost a lot of chips. I would play that hand exactly the same way every time. The interesting thing about my two opponents, and I had noted this earlier, was their willingness to sit on their chips and not play when they had big chip leads. They simply lacked that killer instinct which you must have in tournament play. So it was, that I just stole blinds and outplayed them. They could have called my garbage at any time with their garbage but they were afraid to. That predictable type of human behavior used to cost me a lot of money until I wised up. You want to win? Then you are going to have to take chances with shitty cards. That's just the way it is. Never, ever, let an opponent hang around if you can help it. Three handed, queen anything, and I am going to put a low chipper all in and try to oust him. I think my opponents just thought I was going to go away. They didn't know me.

I finished second by only a chip or two. I didn't win much. But it was 20 times what I bought in with.

Troy and Dave went to Sturgis and the Full Throttle Bar while I played on Friday. When they got back,
we gambled some more and then ate all you can eat crab and prime rib for 22 bucks. Everywhere we went that evening, Dave would pretend to walk into posts, walls, and doors. He would grab his head and stagger a little. As juvenile as all of that sounds- it was actually pretty funny to watch as people asked Dave if he was ok, and they seemed concerned. Of course they all thought he was drunk. The act was good enough to fool most of the people who witnessed it.

Do you remember in the beginning of this piece- the part where I said my toes were swollen and bruised?

On Friday night we stopped at a convenience store next to our camp. I was trying to decide whether or not to go grab a bottle of water to brush my teeth with or walk from our campsite (the farthest away) to the bathrooms. I was straddling my bike having decided to just walk to the bathrooms that night- so I put the kickstand up and prepared to leave. When it started to rain, I changed my mind and decided to go back in the store for some water. I had forgotten the kickstand was up. When I swung my right leg over and off the bike, the whole sumbitch tipped over. That's 1100 pounds of stuff going down. The good news is the rear crash bar rolled right over my right foot and prevented any damage to the bar or bike when it hit the ground. I have gladly exchanged a few days worth of pain- for a thousand dollars worth of repairs. Dave helped me lift the bike. In some blended state of shock and pain, I limped into the store and hobbled out with the goods.

Neither of them laughed at me. That is unbelievable. Dropping a Harley carries the same seriousness as a hunting fall. You save the gun at all costs and your body takes it's chances. This morning, my toes are still black and the right side of my foot remains swollen.

I thought about snapping a photo of my toes but then I thought, maybe one of the two people who actually read this blog are eating. So you have been spared. I will end part one here- mainly because I am tired of writing today and mostly because the real funny shit happened on days 4 and 5.

High Plains Drifters- The Monday Collage

It's time for the annual motorcycle ride.

We've done Glacier Park, the Lost Coast of California, the Grand Canyon. This year it's the Black Hills.

South Dakota and the Black Hills might just be my favorite place on the planet. I am leaving Tuesday and meeting the crew in Idaho Falls. It was 108 degrees in Boise today so we've got that going for us.

I actually wrote a Sunday collage but it sucked. The bar at Frankenstein Government is set pretty high and I know that my readers are busy fucking off living their extremely important lives and only have a limited amount of time with which they devote to reading.  So I don't want to waste their time. That's the selfless, caring, blog owner that I have become.

That and I am burned out. So this trip comes at a pretty good time. Gawd, I love the summer.

I'll try and post photos and some of the stupid shit that is bound to happen. It should be a good trip- I hear Jason's leaving the Indian behind so we can actually ride- rather than spend our time hanging out in mechanic shops and service bays.

In the meantime, don't let the bastards grind you down.

Urban Goat Herds, Illegal Pedestrians, All Season Women

I like Seattle.

If it wasn't for the rain and clouds, the atrocious cost of living, traffic, taxes, shitty jobs, gobs of people, and most of them statists- it would be a great place to live. I mean how can you knock a place that passes helmet laws for bicyclists, bans smoking in public places, and requires anybody that gets into the water- to wear a life vest? I mean, how did mankind survive prior to King County? Luck, mostly. http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/King-Co-requires-life-vests-for-swimmers-1432255.php

I haven't been to Seattle for a few years. So what I thought I would do here is let some of you people in on a little secret. It's how stupid ideas get traction. For years, I used to sit in on city council meetings and county commissioner meetings in Hailey- a geographic area which I lovingly refer to now as Moonbat Valley. Every once in awhile, some "yay- hoo" would come in with a ridiculous idea during the open business part of the meeting. Often, council members would dismiss these awful ideas while acting all concerned and nodding solemnly but every once in awhile, one of those shitty ideas would actually get a little traction- particularly if it was some green idea like outlawing idling cars or fining people for not picking up dog poop on the bike path. Statists love to hear ideas about criminalizing some act of human conduct that does not effect them.

This is the micro managed world that we live in. So I was not shocked to see an entire herd of goats fenced in and underneath several highways near downtown Seattle. The goats are there to eat weeds. Clearly this is a far more efficient way of clearing weeds than sending in 10 or so lazy parks workers or  a few inmates. Instead, some goat herder guy in a trailer sits there for days and weeks, until the weeds have been eaten by the goats. This is one of those silly ideas that not only found traction for some unspecified reason (err, collective bargaining) but it is probably much easier to expect some measurable, attainable results from goats rather than expect much from unionized city employees.

So how much does it cost to rent a herd of goats for a couple weeks? Apparently, that part of the goat story is missing. Do they send out invitations for bids from competing goat herders? Just listen to the unidentified moonbat in the news video selling the goat idea. That's how this stuff gets done. Goats save human lives.  http://q13fox.com/2013/06/24/goats-hired-to-gobble-down-seattles-toughest-brush-stickers-and-all-yum/#axzz2XT3ORFCA

I am almost afraid to talk about this. Once when I was a kid, I agreed to pull out all of the weeds in a vacant lot for 20 bucks. This was in the days before weed whackers. After two hours of solid work and bleeding hands, I lit the lot on fire. Those weeds were gone in 30 minutes at about the same time the fire department arrived. The owner stiffed me. What I wouldn't have given for a herd of goats back then.

Seattle's Weed Abatement Team, Lounging Around

Moments before this picture was taken, I saw a sanitation worker sweeping around a trash can with one of those dustpans with the long handles. He spotted a syringe. Rather than sweep it up, or don some rubber gloves and pick it up, he swept it under the trash can and called someone else to pick it up. I think he called it a "signal 6" or some silly shit like that. Apparently, a specialized Seattle trash-hazmat team has to come over and get it. This is union labor at it's finest. I was tempted to push the trash can over and grab the syringe- just to cause some sort of urban ruckus but there were a couple kids with me and I was on my best behavior.

Now I wanted to mention a sign that I had spotted on a Seattle light pole close to the goat herd. It was a no walking sign- you know the kind with a big red slash through the pedestrian guy. It was mounted right over a sidewalk of all places- and obviously it was there to protect me from something. It was a harrowing experience walking on that sidewalk, knowing that death could visit me at any moment. I survived despite my poor judgment and I had hoped we could put the picture of that sign in here but on second thought, maybe I am better off not posting that picture. If I confess to the crime of illegal pedestrian, the City of Seattle might just send me one of those mail in tickets.

From the goat herd we ventured up a couple of blocks.

We went to the fish market where they throw the fish around. This is cheap entertainment and so we watched some fish getting tossed about, bought a bunch of cinnamon rolls and other nutritious things, and headed up to one of the eighteen hundred Starbucks coffee shops in Seattle.

That's when I spotted this guy. He was looking for an "all season" woman. For those of you who don't know, an all season woman is a woman that keeps you warm in the winter and provides shade in the summer. There are also "all season men" but he wasn't after one of those. Please note the excellent penmanship and artistic design on his sign. I gave him one of those flattened out cinnamon roll thingys in exchange for this photo.

I probably sat outside of the Starbucks and watched this guy for 20 minutes. I was in awe. He was dead serious. I had never contemplated this direct approach to dating, and I could see some drawbacks. I probably would have included an age range just to weed out some of the older ones.

In Moonbat Valley, I could have busted this guy in the old days. I think his sign is non conforming with respect to our sign ordinance. If nothing else, we could have debated it for an hour and a half along with all of the other important stuff we used to talk about in staff meetings.

Yesterday, we traveled home. Unlike the trip up to Seattle, I did not attract the attention of one state trooper on the way home. Boise it seems, is behind the times. Our cost of living is right at the national average. Our taxes are pretty low. We don't have to wear bicycle helmets while riding our bikes or life preservers when floating down the Boise River. We don't have any weed filled lots strewn with hundreds of syringes and I haven't seen any goats east of Nampa. The only real statists live on the north end of Boise and I don't see them anymore now that I have relinquished my socialist YMCA membership.

Maybe I need to go to a council meeting or two to remember how it was.

Ecuador to Take Snowden, Offers U.S. Money For Human Rights Education

This Snowden thing just gets funnier and funnier.

Now even Ecuador is giving the U.S. the finger. Seems the world's caught on to us. I giggle every time I think of Obama going on that worldwide apology tour in 2009- and then changing absolutely nothing- from closing Gitmo to allowing drone strikes.

Same shit, different day. http://iroots.org/2013/06/27/ecuador-prepares-to-accept-snowden-offers-u-s-23-mil-for-human-rights-education/

What Kind of "Coward" is Edward Snowden?

The best Edward Snowden read on the intarwebs. I think you'll like it.

http://danbojangles.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/what-kind-of-coward-is-edward-snowden/comment-page-1/#comment-56

Hong Kong to Eric Holder. Go fuck yourself. Heh.

http://directorblue.blogspot.com/2013/06/hong-kong-to-eric-holder-stuff-it.html

Irony, Justice Coming On Swift Wings- The Sunday Collage

You want to know the pure definition of irony?

Irony occurs when the greatest spy nation of all time, charges one of it's own spies, for releasing secrets directly related to the extent of their spying. 

This week the government that brought you the Patriot Act, worldwide eavesdropping, bugs designed to destroy computer networks, the capability to intercept anything you do or send on a computer or phone including GPS which is able to track your movements, places cameras in public venues, embeds microprocessors in your passport, operates drone aircraft able to photograph a mole on you ass from 4 miles away, and a hierarchy that has the power to shut down every means of communication available to you if it feels threatened, has charged Edward Snowden with espionage.

That is some rich shit, indeed.

In a world turned completely upside down, where the cowards and traitors of Congress, point fingers at Ed Snowden and tell us that somehow his telling the truth is treason and that their own lying and stealing trillions from the American taxpayer and giving it to bankers is virtuous and patriotic. Who are you going to believe? What is the litmus test? 

Edward Snowden told the truth. Nobody is charging him with lying. Ed Snowden embarrassed that culture of criminals and ne'er do wells that inhabit D.C. He exposed the extent to which government can pry into our lives while ignoring the Constitution. He embarrassed all of the Congressmen and women who really don't give a shit what government does so long as they get theirs. The only time they get angry is when some government contractor kid exposes their shitty oversight and work habits- which of course jeopardizes their ability to win re-election.

That's what this is really all about. 

The sycophants are out in force. The government stooges and statists, carrying our corrupt governments' water for them, are telling us how Ed Snowden had no right to do what he did. He was supposed to go through "proper channels" by telling the same worthless bastards in Congress that allowed all of this to happen in the first place- what was happening. 

They would have buried that information along with Snowden. His information would have been discredited, his life ruined. Snowden was smart enough to know all of that. You know what really pisses them off? Snowden has outsmarted them. Some punk kid, sans an Ivy league law degree, has made them look like the ineffective boozehounds that they are. How much does Snowden know? What if he listened in on a few of their conversations, maybe grabbed an email here or there? Oh the possibilities...

Snowden is who he says he is. A patriot. I'll take what little I know of him over that pile of garbage in D.C. any day of the week. If Edward Snowden represents pure irony, then the young voters who voted for Obama in the 2012 election are about to receive some pure justice.

For years I've been saying that the job losses of 2008, catapulted our country into a complete health care melt down. Young, healthy people lost millions of jobs with benefits and they quit spending money, money they didn't have anyway, on healthcare or COBRA. With the loss of billions of dollars in premiums, the insurance and health care oligarchies went into panic mode. Their margins were getting crushed and they ratcheted existing member premiums through the roof.

The only way to get all of that lost money back in- was to shove healthy people back into the health care system via the force of law- so that they could subsidize the costs of the unhealthy and improve profit margins. That is all that Obamacare boils down to- a law that compels and takes money from the young and healthy- and delivers it to the healthcare oligarchy on behalf of the elderly and sick.

The entire left hemisphere has bought into the ridiculous notion that the ACA is some benevolent program devised by their loving government to help them. I absolutely giggle at the naivete' of people who believe things like that. It's always about money. If you don't give it to them voluntarily, they'll just pass a law and take it from you anyway.

So here's the justice part. The same people who re-elected Obama in 2012 after the ACA was passed are now going to have to pay the premiums for Obamacare. I read a story this week that said the average 25 year old pays about 800 bucks a year for healthcare right now. Under Obamacare, those making 40,000 a year are going to be asked to pay premiums totaling 5000.00 per year. (silver, gold plans)

So the same demographic that voted for this buffoonery is the same demographic that will have to pay for it. Now that might be some measure of justice but it gets better...

Young people are not going to buy in. Why? Because the penalties are far cheaper than the worthless coverage. Here's the best part. Young people won't have to buy it at all...until they get sick! Remember that pre-existing clause? There is literally nothing stopping anybody from not purchasing health insurance until they actually get sick. Which is precisely what I would do.  http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2013/06/implementing-obamacare

Should young people buy in? No. That's what this article says. This article makes two excellent points. There are SIXTY pages of questions to sign up for Obamacare. Wow. Welcome to government. This article also give an example of a 27 year old, making 30 grand a year and having to pay 300 a month for Obamacare. That is the basic plan. The "you almost don't have insurance" bronze plan. I hate it when articles don't identify costs by plan. The silver or gold plan would cost more. I don't think people will take the bronze plan. The out of pocket expenses render it almost useless. http://www.nationalreview.com/article/351661/young-people-should-say-no-obamacare-john-fund

So in addition to the young Obama voting demographic being on the hook for this mess- giving far more in premiums than they will be receiving- I really don't think they'll buy in. I am referring to those people making a decent wage.  The people making 20 grand or less will get their healthcare for free essentially. So they'll sign up. This will ultimately cause an even bigger problem than the one they sought to avoid. Health care costs will shoot through the roof some more as the pent up demand of that class of people who previously had no health care receives attention- while the people making a livable wage continue to opt out only until they get seriously ill and at that point opt in and add to our systemic losses.

The healthcare industry needs sweeping reform from top to bottom. The ACA will be a financial disaster. Not for political reasons. It just won't work. People are broke. They can't afford this. Nobody is going to make a payment the size of a house payment for something they will very likely not need for 30 years. Maybe we needed the ACA for all of the wrong reasons. Maybe it will lead to a serious effort to reform a bloated, thieving industry, where virtually every player is gouging the American public for the absolute maximum amount of money. If a catastrophic failure occurs with the ACA, perhaps that will lead to intelligent reform. The unintended consequences of bad legislation may actually lead to something much more palatable or cost effective.

Edward Snowden never stole a dime from me. He has never lied to me.
The traitors in Congress sold our country out long ago. It started with the bankers in 2008.

The people in this country are broke. The ACA fixes nothing. It just steals more money from the haves and redistributes it to the have nots. The system is coming apart at the seams and the ACA is no fix. Not even short term.

We have a real problem in this country. We cannot tell the true from the false. The brave men are labeled traitors, the traitors call themselves patriots. The Affordable Care Act is a lie. It is not affordable nor does it care who it hurts. It is simply a tax which forces in the young and healthy and takes their money.

I keep thinking people will get tired of being lied to. But not yet. Justice has a way of settling these things. I hope it doesn't take too long.

We Return You Now To Your Regularly Scheduled Financial Apocalypse

Just a hint of tapering off. Bernanke's remarks yesterday had Wall Street bankers running for the exits. Bond yields ratcheted up. Markets sold off in dramatic fashion.

Bank repo rates in China last night were quoted beyond 25%. That led to the greatest stock market loss in the Hang Seng all year, a nearly 3% loss.

Hong Kong Hang Seng Index

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HSI:IND

20,382.87604.02 2.88%




Three days ago, on CNBC, every guest and host said "buy stocks." That's the same shit I've been listening to since this manufactured QE recovery began in Mar. of 09.

It's always been a liquidity crisis. The world is awash in a sea of debt and even the masters of the universe can't change that. Extend and pretend time is over. The "spend our way out of debt" exercise is wrapping up. There is no "jobs recovery" just job splitting to evade Obamacare rules. There is no building renaissance as lumber prices tumble, no demand. In Boise, they've built a few apartments and condos- maybe a few high end homes- but that's about it. Vacant commercial property is still every where.

I think people are buying manufactured homes and plunking them down on rural land to avoid taxes.

A small bag of groceries at Whole Foods still costs 70 bucks. Gas has remained steady at just under 4 bucks a gallon. The government tells us there is no inflation as they massage input figures and data while raising our taxes.

Is the end of QEternity here? I doubt it. If they stop QE, financial armageddon arrives. Look what happened yesterday when Bernanke just hinted at slowing bond purchases and tapering off. The actions of international markets in the last 24 hours should scare the begeezus out of them.

Last night, I clipped this comment from a Zerohedge story on Chinese bank repo rates.

It’s about fucking time... Can we get this impending collapse shit underway already? My food stockpiles are nearing their expiration dates.

This morning futures are down sharply. Silver went below 20 bucks. Bond yields continue to rise. There will be no shortage of cheap stock salesmen on CNBC telling you to buy the dip today.

The spend your way to prosperity experiment is over. We return you now to your regularly scheduled financial apocalypse.