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Sunday, April 3, 2016

The Affordable Plumbing Act of 2014

Greg drives to President Obama's new house, which is located in a very exclusive, gated community near Chicago, where all the residents have a net income of way more than $250,000 per year.
Greg arrives and takes his tools into the house. He is led to the guest bathroom that contains the leaky pipe under the sink. Greg assesses the problem and tells Obama that it's an easy repair, that will take less than 10 minutes. Obama asks Greg how much it will cost. Greg checks his rate chart and says, "$9,500."

"What?! $9,500?!" Obama asks, stunned, "But you said it's an easy repair. Michelle will kill me if I pay a plumber that much!"

Greg says, "Yes, but what I do is charge those who make more than $250,000 per year a much higher amount so I can fix the plumbing of poorer people for free. This has always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied the Democrat Congress, who passed this philosophy into law. Now all plumbers must do business this way. It's known as the 'Affordable Plumbing Act of 2014'. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it."

In spite of that, Obama tells Greg there's no way he's paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Greg leaves. Obama spends the next hour flipping through the phone book calling for another plumber, but he finds that all other plumbing businesses in the area have gone out of business. Not wanting to pay Greg 's price, Obama does nothing and the leak goes un-repaired for several more days. A week later the leak is so bad President Obama has had to put a bucket under the sink.
Michelle is not happy as she has Oprah and guests arriving the next morning. The bucket fills up quickly and has to be emptied every hour, and there's a risk the room will flood, so Obama calls Greg and pleads with him to return.

Greg goes back to Obama's house, looks at the leaky pipe, checks his new rate chart and says, "Let's see, this will now cost you $21,000."
Obama quickly fires back, "What? A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!"

Greg explains, "Well, because of the 'Affordable Plumbing Act,' a lot of wealthier people are learning how to maintain and take care of their own plumbing, so there are fewer payers in the plumbing exchanges. As a result, the price I have to charge wealthy people like you keeps rising. Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work by those who get it for free has skyrocketed! There's a long waiting list of those who need repairs, but the amount we get doesn't cover our costs, especially paperwork and record-keeping. This unfortunately has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out of business, they're not being replaced, and nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they can't make any money at it. I'm hurting too, all thanks to greedy rich people like you who won't pay their 'fair share'. On the other hand, why didn't you buy plumbing insurance last December? If you had bought plumbing insurance available under the 'Affordable Plumbing Act,' all this would have been covered by your policy."
"You mean I wouldn't have to pay anything to have you fix my plumbing problem?" asks Obama.
"Well, not exactly," replies Greg. "You would have had to buy the insurance before the deadline, which has passed now. And, because you're rich, you would have had to pay $34,000 in premiums, which would have given you a 'silver' plan, and then, since this would have been your first repair, you would have to pay up to the $21,000 deductible, and anything over that would have a $7,500 co-pay, and then there's the mandatory maintenance program, which is covered up to 17.5%, so there are some costs involved. Nothing is for free."

"WHAT?!" exclaims Obama. "Why so much for a puny sink leak?!"

With a bland look, Greg replies, "Well, paperwork, mostly, like I said. And the internal cost of the program itself. You don't think a program of this complexity and scope can run itself, do you? Besides, there are millions of folks with lower incomes than you, even many in the 'middle class', who qualify for subsidies that people like you must support. That's why they call it the 'Affordable Plumbing Act'! Only people who don't make much money can get it. If you want affordable plumbing, you'll have to give away most of what you have accumulated and cut your and Michelle's income by about 90%. Then you can qualify to GET your 'Fair Share' instead of GIVING it."

"But who would pass a crazy act like the 'Affordable Plumbing Act'?!" exclaims the exasperated Obama.
After a sigh, Greg replies, "Congress ... because they didn't read it."

This will help you understand Obamacare .... And here you have it, the 'Affordable Plumbing Act of 2014'. 


Compleat Patriot said...


Anonymous said...

Good one-I've sent it on to IOTW, one of my favorite agitprop blogs

Compleat Patriot said...

And by the way Mister Putt, I only except payment in gold or silver because the paper economy is not worth the risk.

I had fun in this valley while it lasted in the plumbing biz. Other than lending Dicky Mathews a hand last winter I've been out of that trade since 08. Last year the two of us did a three story 36 bath rough in. They called us grumpy and grouchy. I wanted to see if I could still do it. We did it. I dropped 20 pounds doing that..

I doubt I'll ever do it again. The trades are ruined in my opinion. People for some reason are down on plumbing contractors, always have been. I always tell them go do the seven years educational process for the license and build up a $100,000 tool box so whatever comes along you can handle it and get back to me on over payed over charging plumbers. I've actually had building contractors in this valley ask me if their cheap plumber could rent some of my equipment because he did not have it. I am not shitting you Brian..

I see those guys around the valley. When they see me they're real interested in their toes..

Brian said...

You never realize just how unprepared, inept, and stupid people are until you actually interact with them. You begin to realize that in a true emergency most of these people would just perish.

I don't miss the valley. I haven't missed it since the early 80's. The part time snobs took it over. It's the wannabe snobs that are the worst.

They petri dish for snobbery is the community school. That's where the magic happens.

Adriana I. Pena said...

While the article is funny, he should have picked a differnt target than plumbing. Why? Because giving people plumbing is not a nice thing we do for them, but a nice thing they do for us, that is giving us the assurance that they will void themselves only in approved receptacles connected to a sewage treatment plant, which means that their urine and faeces will not end up in our drinking water.

Actually, the greatest social engineering program of the nineteenth century was getting people to do just that. Same as the greatest medical advance was convincing doctors to wash their hands between patients.

This is how finally water became a healthier drink than wine, while all through human history it had been the opposite.

And this is how the ravages of cholera and typhoid became a thing of the past in the developed world.

(Which reminds me of the answer of someone who was challenged for giving clean needles to addicts to prevent AIDS "If they do not catch it, they cannot transmit it")

Indeed, a lot of the arguments about medical care are now only possible because most diseases nowadays are of the non-communicable type. In the face of an epidemic, the reasoning changes. I mean, remember the Ebola outbreak? How many people here complained that their resources were sent out of the US to treat people no one knew? The reaction was, rather "stop it there, so that it cannot come here."

So, as you can imagine, I am all for affordable plumbing for everyone. I do not want to drink some E.coli that was in somoene else's intestines.

john smith said...

You can actually see this very often in sinks. Once this happens to your sink, it will become useless as water gets gathered in it. plumbing repairs