Forty One Days of Hell
I can only get so fat and then well, I get pissed off.
The worst thing about getting old is that with a complete loss of testosterone and human growth hormone- a man's body only requires about 6 calories per day. Everything else is stored as fat.
So when you eat like a pig like I do- sometimes consuming an entire bowl of oatmeal with a few blueberries sprinkled on top- you can expect to participate in at least one "Iron Man" competition or marathon that month to cancel out the effects of that one bowl of oatmeal.
There is always some nutrition nazi willing to point out the flaws in anything I consume. I usually find them at the gym. They are usually in their 20's and they believe that they have been blessed with a body that will never age, knees that will perform flawlessly forever, and a brain that tells them they are special. I wish I could see them 30 years later humping a treadmill.
I am in absolute awe. When I was a young man- I could eat an entire semi trailer full of twinkies without gaining a single ounce. Now that I am roughly the age of Methuzaleh, all I can safely eat is celery washed down with purified water.
Growing old sucks. I've never found the alternative visually appealing either.
So when I stepped on the scales May 1, I weighed 282 pounds. That's when I got pissed.
Sometime in the 90's I was introduced to a miracle called the Atkin's diet. I call it the meat and cheese diet. You can eat eggs, meat, cheese and some meat, cheese, and eggs. Maybe a black olive here or there. And baby- it works.
I do it every 18 months or so, generally when my belt buckle starts carving a big notch in my flesh.
I love it when people say, "isn't that diet unhealthy?" I say to them- matter of factly now- "yes it probably is, however carrying around an extra 40 pounds of blubber isn't exactly healthy either."
I am not one of those guys who can diet for 18 months hoping to lose 15 pounds. I don't have that kind of glacial patience. When I diet, I bring the fucking pain. Now.
Farm animals die. Roosters hump. It has always been this way. And only now and then- do I allow myself a pineapple slice on a pile of cottage cheese washed down with that horrible tasting almond milk. I throw in two miles of running every day. And when the smoke clears...
I expect to lose 31 pounds in 31 days. So when I stepped on the scale this morning at 254- I was three pounds short of my goal for May. This of course has now triggered an additional 10 days of hell wherein I will finally stop when I arrive at 242 pounds with absolutely no hint or trace of a man boob having ever existed on my manscape. I will probably add another mile of running every day.
Then ever so slowly, through summer, fall, and the holiday season and all of 2105- a combination of apple pancakes, cinnamon rolls, bridge mix, pizza, pasties, pork chop sammichs, hash browns, french fries, and ice cream- will all begin to work their evil charms and restore me back to the full sized man that I used to be. Some 18.5 months from now, this whole nasty cycle will repeat itself.
Fat and angry is no way to live your life. I have to figure out some reasonable way to eat within my means. The thought of another 41 days of this shit seems a little unbearable to me right now.
Brian
The worst thing about getting old is that with a complete loss of testosterone and human growth hormone- a man's body only requires about 6 calories per day. Everything else is stored as fat.
So when you eat like a pig like I do- sometimes consuming an entire bowl of oatmeal with a few blueberries sprinkled on top- you can expect to participate in at least one "Iron Man" competition or marathon that month to cancel out the effects of that one bowl of oatmeal.
There is always some nutrition nazi willing to point out the flaws in anything I consume. I usually find them at the gym. They are usually in their 20's and they believe that they have been blessed with a body that will never age, knees that will perform flawlessly forever, and a brain that tells them they are special. I wish I could see them 30 years later humping a treadmill.
I am in absolute awe. When I was a young man- I could eat an entire semi trailer full of twinkies without gaining a single ounce. Now that I am roughly the age of Methuzaleh, all I can safely eat is celery washed down with purified water.
Growing old sucks. I've never found the alternative visually appealing either.
So when I stepped on the scales May 1, I weighed 282 pounds. That's when I got pissed.
Sometime in the 90's I was introduced to a miracle called the Atkin's diet. I call it the meat and cheese diet. You can eat eggs, meat, cheese and some meat, cheese, and eggs. Maybe a black olive here or there. And baby- it works.
I do it every 18 months or so, generally when my belt buckle starts carving a big notch in my flesh.
I love it when people say, "isn't that diet unhealthy?" I say to them- matter of factly now- "yes it probably is, however carrying around an extra 40 pounds of blubber isn't exactly healthy either."
I am not one of those guys who can diet for 18 months hoping to lose 15 pounds. I don't have that kind of glacial patience. When I diet, I bring the fucking pain. Now.
Farm animals die. Roosters hump. It has always been this way. And only now and then- do I allow myself a pineapple slice on a pile of cottage cheese washed down with that horrible tasting almond milk. I throw in two miles of running every day. And when the smoke clears...
I expect to lose 31 pounds in 31 days. So when I stepped on the scale this morning at 254- I was three pounds short of my goal for May. This of course has now triggered an additional 10 days of hell wherein I will finally stop when I arrive at 242 pounds with absolutely no hint or trace of a man boob having ever existed on my manscape. I will probably add another mile of running every day.
Then ever so slowly, through summer, fall, and the holiday season and all of 2105- a combination of apple pancakes, cinnamon rolls, bridge mix, pizza, pasties, pork chop sammichs, hash browns, french fries, and ice cream- will all begin to work their evil charms and restore me back to the full sized man that I used to be. Some 18.5 months from now, this whole nasty cycle will repeat itself.
Fat and angry is no way to live your life. I have to figure out some reasonable way to eat within my means. The thought of another 41 days of this shit seems a little unbearable to me right now.
Brian
Comments
Thanks for the tips, guys, especially anonymous above. That's useful information to know and I will incorporate it into my routine.
As far as being sexually invisible after 50, I know what you're saying and see some truth in it, but don't subscribe to it entirely. Myself personally, I don't much care for a woman unless she's at least 40 (and I mean age, not waist size or IQ) and I've laid eyes on some women who look pretty good even at 50 or 60 or more (but that's just me, I'm a warped old pig and I prefer them older). The young ones may seem hotter, but too often they have shit for brains and not much to offer unless man enjoys having his wallet picked clean (the old ones sometimes fall into the same category, but usually they have more life experience and occasionally more gratitude). Like Ben Franklin said about older women, "they don't swell, they don't tell and they're grateful as hell." Wise old bird, that Ben Franklin.
Be safe :)
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/#axzz2I4Crndjq. It takes time but it works. His book is well worth reading.
The Primal Blueprint. Another good book is The Art And Science of Low Carb Performance. We need healthy fats, greens and clean protein. All preferably from pasture or grass-fed sources. Stay away from all vegetable oils, wheat, simple sugars. Limit fruit and nuts to treats. Don't fall for low-fat food sources. Eat items with minimal ingredients.
Last year I lost 37 lbs on high fat, moderate protein and low carb diet. With exercise, especially lifting weights. No Beer, only vodka soda or whiskey. No diet drinks just water, coffee or tea. Do some reading on
primal/ paleo. There are a lot of success stories..
Another author is Robb Wolf... http://robbwolf.com/
Good luck!
Lisa
Ed Griffin is a particularly nasty cookie, as he clearly purposefully tries to obscure the crucial messages of Ezra Pound and Eustace Mullins. Knowing the Money Power there is every reason to suggest that this is the main reason Ed Griffin exists and why we all know about him. Ezra Pound was probably the greatest political commentator of the 20th century. He profoundly studied and explained the Money Power’s origins, ‘ethics’, methods, economics, sociological effects and of course its control over money far better than any others. Ezra backed Eustace Mullins book, "The Secrets of the Federal Reserve" is a great reference work if you want names, dates, associations, and quotes. And the absolute best expose is, THE “FEDERAL” RESERVE CONSPIRACY AND ROCKEFELLER by Emmanuel Josephson.
Keep in mind, Edward Griffin gets his book in every book store in America. Ezra Pound gets falsely accused of being mentally incompetent and locked away in an asylum for 13 years. And Mullins is falsely accused of being a Jew hater. How convenient. Somebody recently said here how do we replace the bad guys with the good guys? YOU STOP IGNORING THE GOOD GUYS AND START IGNORING THE BAD GUYS…
The bulk of Emmanuel Josephson's treatise deals specifically with the Rockefeller clan’s management of the illegal takeover of America’s money system in 1913 with the bogus “Federal” “Reserve” System. Josephson's book often merely corroborates what other writers on this subject have written–writers like Eustace Mullins and G. Edward Griffin. But Josephson also often divulges more than those other two writers: Josephson’s research leads him to link the designs of the Rockefeller's with Adam Weishaupt’s Illuminati and, ultimately, the Vatican. He ultimately shows that this last of these has the real control over the “Fed.” This is a gigantically portentous finding on Josephson’s part–portentous historically, of course, but even more so in eschatalogical terms. It adds yet more confirmation to what the progenitors of the Reformation had long ago warned: That the Papal System was and is the Antichrist System. Josephson documents the long-suppressed and forgotten history of the 1800s wherein and how the Jesuits infiltrated this republic, decapitated it, and ultimately usurped it. And so this is where we stand today. Open your eyes, turn off the TV, throw away your radio, cancel your newspaper subscription, and deal with it.
The largest issue at hand in this country occupied by that corporation you guys feel a false entitlement ownership towards under that "We the People" charade is this, first off study on the the legal difference of " we the people" with and without capitonym use. Then ask yourself why this society is only taught fourth grade through eighth grade level English when your "leaders" are all taught fourth grade through 17th grade level English, combined with legal terms. Anyone want to explain to myself how the layman voter can compete against that?
"We the People" and our Posterity was not nor ever was YOU. You're not family of the signatories of that contract.
Frauds I've contended with doing this research. Edward Griffin. Alex Jones, Steve Quayle, Jeff Rense, Eric Jon Phelps, Craig Oxley…
The truth of intent, is in the Historical Archives of The Congressional Globes, annals and records of Congress and The Supreme Court. The voter offers no challenge against their game. NONE.
This is why at Candid I post legal evidence from these horses mouth sources.
Mullins and others who have read both books accuse Griffin of plagiarizing Mullins book. He did.
Eustace Mullins' on FED, Ron Paul, Rockefeller & G. Edward Griffin
http://youtu.be/FiUGrlLccDc
That the Catholic church may be at the center of all of this is not particularly new or useful given their scandalous history. That has never been a point of contention although you often write like it is. However, you do raise a few very interesting points in that rant like Ezra Pound and The Secrets of the Federal Reserve which I may look into.
Dude, you crack me up. Just save me a spot in the bunker. Did you like that crack some reader said about us needing therapy, desperately? I said we have had therapy- you should have seen us before!