Frankenstein Government Nominates Frankenstein Government For Vice President

It's time to throw my hat in the ring. Will the speculation ever end? Ok, Mitt...here is my resume.'

I spent 25 years in "government work" although my father claims there is no such thing. Unlike you,  I am an uber conservative and I make no apologies for it. I live on my retirement and I don't have 25 or 50 million stashed overseas like you do. I'm pretty sure I can get by on that 231,000 salary.

I have never been a politician because I find it very difficult to lie. You will have to teach me how to do that. I'm sure they have a finishing school, perhaps even a secret academy in D.C.

I dislike bankers and lawyers in that order. I am not that fond of Mormons either. I know a lot of otherwise intelligent people that believe that Moroni/golden tablet/ Hill Cumorah foolishness- and so I have to respect that in America you can believe whatever foolishness you want to believe. Personally, I think you worship wealth and money first and foremost, so the L.D.S. thing makes a lot of sense and seems an appropriate distraction. You can argue that your religion comes first.

I will pretend to listen to you attentively at all times. I will nod my head a lot. 

Look, mostly I am going to be sitting in the Senate, listening to the gibberish of 100 US Senators who think they are far smarter than they actually are. I am fairly good at yelling and gavel slamming- particularly when I am listening to bullshit ad nauseum. So I will look at the job like a giant C Span adult daycare attendant. With special needs clientele.

How fucking hard can that be? Joe Biden can do it and he's a couple dates short of a fruitcake. So I hope to hear from you soon.

Frankenstein Government


Comments

Anonymous said…
YOU GOT MY VOTE FOR SURE. YOU MIGHT WANT YOUR MOTORCYLE BUDDIES AS YOUR AIDES IN CASE THINGS GET TO0 UNRULY--LOL
Anonymous said…
No way, Brian. You are way too over-qualified. How about Treasury Secretary?

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