Sunday, April 1, 2012

April Fool's Day Will Never Be the Same

As a young kid, I never missed a chance to pull pranks on my little sister. Her absolutely predictable behavior made April Fool's day a wonderful day.

I guess my favorite prank was putting salt in the sugar shaker. The first year I did that, my sister poured her usual pound of sugar over her cereal and took a bite. She got this funny look on her face.  I saw her take a second bite, smacking her tongue, and then I watched as this nasty and contorted look overcame her. She proclaimed that the cereal was sour.

By that time of course, I was laughing my ass off. I enjoy pranking people but getting pranked- not so much. 

The absolute worst prank ever pulled on me was by my cousin Scott. In fact, it was nearly 40 years ago and just thinking about it- still pisses me off.

After school, Scott and a friend (Kelly Kneivel, now that I think about it) were walking near St. Ann's church in Butte. Scott was holding a bottle of Mountain Dew. I should have known something was wrong when that cheap bastard offered me a swig and like the gullible kid I once was, I took a gulp.

Let's just say that swig of Mountain Dew was about 98.6 degrees and tasted real salty. Although I have never consumed any piss on a regular basis- I can honestly say that I've tried the stuff once. I didn't care for it.

My little sis lives in Seattle now. My cousin, the piss pusher, lives in Kansas City. I gotta square that account one day. Something really vile and disgusting. In fact, as I sit here, my mind is wandering with wonderful thoughts of revenge. Maybe I will send him a little package at X-Mas... heh.

Make sure you go out and pull some shit on someone today. There's no point in having April Fool's Day if you can't have a little fun at someone else's expense.

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