Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Billionaires Are Giving Handouts

There is something that really frosts my ass about the rich and elite. Of course, this includes Warren Buffet and Bill Gates.

After decades of monopolizing computer software, the hallowed Bill Gates is now thinking of giving some of his excess robber baron largesse to charity. And Mr. Buffet, with that giant ego who now thinks of himself as an expert on everything, is thinking of giving away a few of his billions.

People like Buffet and Gates think nothing of gaining every conceivable advantage and exploiting it. Perhaps that is simply opportunity and perhaps I would have done the same thing. I mean, we can't all be billionaires because that would leave no one for us to covet- except trillionaires.

It is the ego that gets to me. The world worships these men, and make no mistake about it- they do. The billionaires, for emotional reasons all of their own, want to give some of us poor down trodden types some of our money back. They want to be remembered as generous and kind. And like old crones in the village, with our hands extended and tears streaming down our face, we are supposed to thank them for their inherent goodness. Like some fucking Oprah Winfrey audience during a laptop- give away.

So about the time you are trying to convince me what great people these folks are, I become a skeptic. I am one of those guys that when told to "do this or else" I buy 20 bucks worth of "or else." Fuck you Warren and Bill. I stayed at Miraval last year in Tucson. You ain't special. You got nothing I want. So go ahead and jump on your planes, call the reporters, let the liberal arts puppets write glowing copy about what great guys you are- so that you pillagers can feel good about yourselves.

Come to think of it- that's what pisses me off. I spent a lifetime helping the poor, giving money away that I didn't have, but mostly giving people my time. I devoted my life to that. I do it now. You bastards devoted your lives to getting rich. And now like some lost souls...

You want to buy some good will because that's what you people do. You buy shit. You don't give, you take. You always have. And now after you have all of the marbles you want to buy mass appeal and appreciation. Maybe your name on university buildings. A statue or two.

Ok, Buffet and Gates. You want to prove to me you are good people? Get your ass down to the local mission. Do laundry for the homeless. Cook meals for the 25 million people out of work. Spend 20 hours a week with crippled children. Volunteer significant amounts of your time- devote your lives to making things better. Have you ever done that? Fuck no, of course not. You pay someone else to do that for you. You lack authentic intent. You see, absent that kind of personal commitment- guys like me are gonna just think guys like you- are a couple of rich pricks trying to buy a bigger ego and a healthy conscience. Sorry, I'm not selling healthy conscience points and I don't give handouts to the wealthy.
But if you are looking for some "or else" I might have a little extra.


rawmuse said...

I might give Gates a little more props, since he actually created something useful (or marginally useful, if you are an Apple fan). Buffett, on the other hand is a garden variety capitalist, nothing wrong with that, but I DO wish he would shut up and quit acting like he cured Polio or something...

davecydell said...

Two things here that PO me:
1. the sick low marginal tax rates for billionaires. I know we can't balance the budget off them but does the 'board game of monopoly' mean anything to anyone anymore.
2. the tax write off scam. Who has to make up for the treasury loses here?
When operating a "foundation" they awake in the foundation paid for hotel, go to breakfast and a talk on the "foundation" dime, then lunch on the "foundation" dime, then a limo ride, on the "foundation" dime, to the airport, and a plane flight, on the "foundation" dime, to a new city, check in to a new hotel, on the "foundation" dime, dinner and a chat on the "foundation" dime, then a cocktail party, on........... yep, you guessed it, your dime.

davecydell said...

Get Stormy just stole one.