I usually don't like to comment on TV and movies stars. I usually find them rather superficial. Yet, the other morning I paused and watched Charlie Sheen on a morning TV interview. He was in the middle of some hateful rant and claimed to be a "warlock." He was vowing some sort of waged battle against the people who had dumped him from his TV show- which I have never watched.
Tonight, the cops came to his house and grabbed his kids. More stuff from a former porn star girlfriend.
I feel sorry for Charlie Sheen. He is no monster. What I saw on TV for about a minute or so, I have seen and heard thousands of times. I saw a drug or alcohol addiction or both- with no spiritual solution. Just another bum on the wrong bus.
This level of unconsciousness is hard to fathom from people who have never been there. They simply cannot understand the disease. They cannot understand why a man- who seemingly has every gift that God ever bestowed upon a human being- is acting like this.
"Cut off your head, put it in a box, and send it to your mother?" Charlie- that's some seriously funny shit. Completely insane.
Let me tell you about the dark alley that beckons someone like Sheen. In his current state, Sheen is completely self absorbed and self centered. He will justify everything that he does. He believes that he is a victim and he wallows in self pity. He lashes out at every one as they abandon him. His perceived enemies may number in the hundreds. He is angry. He will justify and rationalize all of his behavior. In his current state, he probably has isolated himself from everyone except for the few intensely loyal friends that remain. He will permanently destroy some relationships and scar other ones. He will deny that he has any problem at all. Many will take Sheen's actions personally because they don't know his disease. Sheen's addictive mind will rationalize any conduct just so long as the drugs don't stop. Sheen is headed for rock bottom. Sheen is about to greet loneliness like no other. If he doesn't kill himself, he has a chance. I note that Sheen is 45.
All of us have those character defects. But for some reason, alcohol and drugs, works on us like Miracle Gro.
Sheen at the moment, is completely unconscious. Some folks call that insanity and I won't split hairs with them. Charlie has a living problem. He has no spiritual solution.
I know where Sheen is going and I note that I was about the same age. Unfortunately for Charlie, he has fame and money which will draw out and prolong his agony. Well until that's all gone, he does something really stupid, lands in jail, or dies. Guys like Sheen have an additional hurdle. They think they somehow they know everything and that somehow they are incredibly unique and different. Being a celebrity with a celebrity sized ego does not help. They can't even fathom a solution or a way out.
So when I heard Charlie's rant on the TV, it was something I have heard many times before and lived once myself. I am not making any assumptions here. I know what I listened to. You might say it struck a little too close to home. I've watched some of us live, some of us live in institutions, and some of us die. I don't know for the life of me how that lottery gets sorted out and how the winners get selected. I am not too concerned with that anymore. I just accept it.
So tonight I am going to say a prayer for Charlie Sheen. A simple prayer. I hope Charlie finds loneliness and desperation like no other. I hope that it does not kill him. I hope that he is not too stupid to seek out a solution that has saved the lives of millions. I hope that someone or something will make him understand- that he's just another bum on the wrong bus.