Friday, May 17, 2013

The Great Idaho Monkey Killer

I think one of the more bizarre stories I have followed this past year was that of the great Idaho monkey killer.

At some point in an evening filled with serious drinking and a complete loss of judgement, two men concocted a plan. I have a good idea one surely spouted off, "let's break into the zoo and steal a monkey." It is unclear at what moment the men thought this was a good idea- however history indicates that they indeed acted on the plan. They broke into the zoo and then into a cage housing the monkeys. Remember, two men thought this was a good idea. Oddly, the other man seems to have escaped unscathed. That's how deals go.

One of the men wrapped his coat around a monkey, and then tried to pitch the monkey over a fence to his drunken friend. All hell broke loose. The monkey did not go quietly into the good night.

At some point during the would be kidnapping, the monkey must have pissed off his would be captors to such an extent- that the kidnappers thought it was necessary to beat the monkey to death.

It matters not where you are in your life or what worldly horrors you may be enduring. Know this. You  are probably going to wake up tomorrow, knowing full well that you did not break into a zoo the previous night and kill a harmless monkey- nor will you be arrested, plastered all over the news, and be sentenced to seven years in prison for the incident.

I really can't imagine the shame or guilt this guy must be feeling or how bad it is about to get. Can you imagine his arrival at prison? Ugh.

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