Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Why I Am Rooting For the Mayan Apocalypse

I used to think that all men, particularly as they grew older, were given some DNA programming that said the world was going to hell in a hand basket. It is universal. No old man has ever said how great life is- at the end of his life. Nor do those old men say- the future of America is promising. This is why.

Mark Zuckerberg killed a bison and ate some of it? This is what passes for news in America?

Let me tell you a little something. Nobody cares whether Mark Zuckerberg kills bison and eats them. I don't find that story amusing, interesting, or anything else. I don't find anything particularly interesting about Zuckerberg either. Take a look at that dog he is holding. A fucking Bichon Frise. I think that is some sort of French sissy dog. What kind of a man has a dog like that? And while I am at it, I don't like Facebook either. I think Facebook is the biggest waste of time on the planet. I'll tell you how important Facebook is to me. It ranks somewhere between idling at a stoplight and Roman Brio.
I can't believe Facebook is worth 10 grand let alone billions.

Not to be outdone, Yahoo posted this story about Justin Bieber.

A kid that can waste money on worthless shit and sings like a girl. Wow. So we've got two dorky kids with crappy haircuts, one with a stupid looking dog who eats bison burgers and another kid who sings songs called "Baby." We find them "fascinating." This is America, this is who we are- as our President likes to say. Meanwhile, several thousand years ago in the jungle...

...a couple of Mayan elders, very old men, are gazing into some crystal ball and tuning it in like an ancient Ipad. They scroll to December in the year, 2012. There they see images of Mark Zuckerberg and Justin Bieber. They turn and look at each other with wry smiles and nod approvingly. They agree. This looks like as good a time as any- for an end of times apocalypse.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

How about a different tune " Theres got to be a morning after." depends on how you spell morning.