Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I Haven't Had One Good Suicidal Thought In Five Years

That's five years+2 leap days+today. 1828 days ago.

October 9, 2007 started off like so many other days for me. It finished like so many other days too. I went to bed that night having consumed about 1/2 of a bottle of Irish whiskey (Bushmills) and 7 beers. I woke up like I had so many other days that next morning. I was hungover, my eyes burned, and I had one of those headaches in the back of my head that I could feel with every beat of my heart. If you drink like I did- you'll know what I am talking about.

Anger, depression, and a suicidal thought here and there- were working their emotional charms on me. I didn't see a happy ending there. I needed a solution. I found what I needed to find- in New Orleans.

That is why I am here.  I just came to say thanks.

I spent a lot of time writing on Magazine Street back in 2007. Near here. I kind of giggle when I see a bar named after a saint. It conjures up thoughts of naming a bar something like, "Catholic Tavern." If you click on the photo you will also note the anti-Walgreen's sentiment. If I still drank, I could see myself patronizing a place like St. Joe's. 

Right across the street is a Whole Foods. We had lunch there. Kathleen was ecstatic when she found a pizza with a soy based cheese and she modeled a slice.

This looks really good, not sure about the pizza though
I catch and eat all of my own food. Here's a fish I caught after I leaped from the pier, grabbed this fish by the tail, and slammed it's head into the dock while a horrified bunch of children watched. I then took it to Whole Foods where I had them preserve it for me until I was ready to eat it. Honest.

Then I ate some of these things. I call them donuts with powdered sugar, the french call them beignets...pronounced ben Yay...I drank some vegetable juice earlier which cancelled out the effects of eating these.

After eating all of this healthy food we went shopping. Here's a hoodie I found at the WalMart in Metairie. It fit me like a glove. Here I am striking an action pose just like I did in my crime fighting days.

In 2007, I could not see my life with or without alcohol. Booze had been my lifelong companion and I had used alcohol to cope with just about everything life threw my way. The funny thing about booze is that if you drink enough of it- sooner or later it has a funny way of turning on you. That's when you need a solution.

I haven't had one good suicidal thought since then.


Anonymous said...

And we are all glad that you did find a solution.


Anonymous said...

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Besides, why give the world the satisfaction of killing oneself? Fuck the world (correction....the world is a beautiful place, it's the people in it who are screwed up....so fuck the people in this world).

Brian said...

Thanks Jim. And oddly, I agree anonymous to a degree. I was one of those screwed up people and still am a little.