Sunday, February 13, 2011

Don't Forget Valentine's Day and Ladies...Don't Forget Steak and BJ Day

Many years ago, Hallmark managed to turn a simple day into another guilt ridden holiday for men.

This is the day where we are supposed to pay double for chocolate, triple for roses, pay 400% markup for jewelry, or suffer the consequences. In fact, it is so serious, that forgetting or blowing this holiday off often results in verbal abuse, emotional carnage, and celibacy. It is our duty as men to go buy some worthless shit. That's how we demonstrate our love for the women in our lives.

Interestingly enough, Steak and BJ day is right around the corner. Unlike VD, Steak and BJ Day has not gotten much traction. The last two years, March 14, have come and gone and I have yet to receive a Steak and a BJ. I have not complained about it. But this year, it's gonna be different. If March 14 goes by again this year, sans a ribeye or a hummer...there is going to be hell to pay. I shit you not.

It's about time you butchers grab the bull by the horns and exploit this. You are pathetic. Seek marketing advice from your FTD florists on how to capitalize and by all means read this. It's about time for a little equality. The skit on the bottom of the page is worth a click. Hat tip to my soul skiing brother.


Kristy said...

Ok, I have to say boo to you, you should know that not all of us "ladies" (I do use the term lightly)want, how is it you say, you to "pay double for chocolate, triple for roses, pay 400% markup for jewelry". I for one do not care one way or the other for this merchants holiday. However as for your steak and BJ day you are more than welcone to come down and I will treat you to a great steak, sorry thats as far as Al will let m go so your jus going to have to find a rub and tug for the rest! Love ya call me!

Brian said...

Yea, but steak is expensive? Have you seen it lately?

Anonymous said...

This had me laughing so hard, I almost wet my pants, and not in the way you want or are visualizing....lollll Great comments about a day that has gotten so blown out of proportion that it has lost its meaning.....thanks to merchandising and's too bad. I love Valentines, and a cute one is a nice thing to's been that way since grade school. It's nice to know that someone is thinking of you on this special day. As far as your steak and BJ day, we will have to negotiate that ahead of time....if you have been deserving, you have no worries! 911Chick