Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Mystery Missile

Maybe the government thinks it will just go away. The story, sans explanation, is two weeks old.

When I think of all the crazy shit I have heard in the last two weeks, the mystery missile is truly my favorite. Our government, which clearly acts as though it knows everything, suddenly has no explanation for the mystery missile. The experts postulated various themes. Some outlets are now claiming it was an optical illusion.

And the government asks, "Are you going to believe what I tell you, or are you going to believe your lying eyes?"

Experts say it was an optical illusion. The pentagon says it was an aircraft.

915 Manhattan Avenue

Eww...please don't be alarmed. This is not what you think it is. This is not a pile of dog shit. It is an optical illusion. I have talked to several government experts. They have reassured me that this is magma flowing out from a fissure in Manhattan.

Now I'd like to think that with all of those trillions we've spent on the military, satellite, radar, missile, and air defense systems that our money did not go to waste. Or perhaps all that hardware just went on the fritz in unison.  It's odd that not one military base spotted the mystery missile and tracked it. Ya know, those crazy norks have been known to fire a missile now and then. I trust our government when it comes to deception and lying. They are professionals.

So maybe a few of you trusting souls truly believe government doesn't have a clue about the mystery missile. I don't number among you. However, if you insist on believing that- I got some magma I'd like to sell you. Cheap.

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