Tuesday, October 23, 2012

FG's Outlaw Line on the Big Trump News

I've been surfing the intermesh a little tonight- trying to figure out what Donald Trump's big news about Obama is going to be Wednesday. Apparently, Trump thinks he has something big. http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1012/82770.html

Douglas Kass tried to steal some of Trump's thunder by revealing his October surprise yesterday. Here's what he tweeted about it:
"High above the Alps my Gnome has heard that Donald Trump will announce that he has unearthed divorce papers between the Prez and his wife."

Here at Frankenstein Government, I am never afraid to go out on a limb. President Obama provides such a target rich environment of half truths, lies, sealed personnel records, wandering rhetoric, and opaqueness that even I am left in awe. I often think that Obama could teach run of the mill sociopaths a thing or two. Maybe graduate school. So we have a job ahead of us- sorting out the possibilities.

Since I have wasted 4 years of my life following this moron- I feel uniquely qualified to offer up my "line" on what Trumps's big news is.

Obama cheating on LV golfcourse, playing the "don't" and hungover prior to first debate, 2-1.
Obama cheating on wife and pending divorce years ago, 3-1.
Obama whispering in Netanyahu's ear, telling him holocaust did not happen. 8-1.
Obama's school transcripts documenting his alien status, 4-1.
Obama's mother had another son, a secret brother, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. 15-1.
Obama using false documents, any kind, including passport, 5-1.
Obama is not a serial liar, tells truth most of the time, 61-1.
Both Obamas losing Illinois licenses to practice law due to illegal activities or greasy palms, 7-1.
Obama is a Muslim, had plans to turn west wing into a mosque, 9-1.
Obama receiving undocumented and illegal campaign contributions from foreign sources, 4-1.
Obama is gay. That's why we have never found a girlfriend, 2-1.
Obama is the son of somebody other than Barack Obama Sr., 11-1.
Michelle Obama is Patrick Ewing's sister, 1-1.

Field bet. None of the above, something else. 2-1.

Ok, that's it. I ruled out dope dealing because Trump says that's not it. Anything seems possible with Obama. So let's hope Trump doesn't keep us waiting. Place your bets below. All bets off when the Donald tweets, eastern time.


Marcus said...

Yeah, Obaaama* is something else when it comes to being a weasel, isn't he? Gotta give him that much. He makes a real weasel look like a bumbling retard by comparison. As far as any "big secret" is concerned, who the hell knows? Maybe he'll announce he's a hermaphrodite and wants to become an actor in the adult film industry. Maybe he'll legalize dope. Maybe he'll sell California to the Chinese to even out the trade deficit. Man, the possibilities are endless with that character.

I'll take the field bet, Brian. Something else. And by the way, if you think Obaaama ain't into the wacky tobacky, just google the term "Obama choom gang".

*Obaaama: the sound made by his sheep-like followers as they bleat out his name.

Anonymous said...

I'll take five bucks on the school transcripts showing he's either foreign born or fraudulently claiming as much to qualify him for the financial aid.