Friday, July 27, 2012

Frankenstein Government Nominates Frankenstein Government For Vice President

It's time to throw my hat in the ring. Will the speculation ever end? Ok, Mitt...here is my resume.'

I spent 25 years in "government work" although my father claims there is no such thing. Unlike you,  I am an uber conservative and I make no apologies for it. I live on my retirement and I don't have 25 or 50 million stashed overseas like you do. I'm pretty sure I can get by on that 231,000 salary.

I have never been a politician because I find it very difficult to lie. You will have to teach me how to do that. I'm sure they have a finishing school, perhaps even a secret academy in D.C.

I dislike bankers and lawyers in that order. I am not that fond of Mormons either. I know a lot of otherwise intelligent people that believe that Moroni/golden tablet/ Hill Cumorah foolishness- and so I have to respect that in America you can believe whatever foolishness you want to believe. Personally, I think you worship wealth and money first and foremost, so the L.D.S. thing makes a lot of sense and seems an appropriate distraction. You can argue that your religion comes first.

I will pretend to listen to you attentively at all times. I will nod my head a lot. 

Look, mostly I am going to be sitting in the Senate, listening to the gibberish of 100 US Senators who think they are far smarter than they actually are. I am fairly good at yelling and gavel slamming- particularly when I am listening to bullshit ad nauseum. So I will look at the job like a giant C Span adult daycare attendant. With special needs clientele.

How fucking hard can that be? Joe Biden can do it and he's a couple dates short of a fruitcake. So I hope to hear from you soon.

Frankenstein Government


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

YOU GOT MY VOTE FOR SURE. YOU MIGHT WANT YOUR MOTORCYLE BUDDIES AS YOUR AIDES IN CASE THINGS GET TO0 UNRULY--LOL

conservativesonfire said...

No way, Brian. You are way too over-qualified. How about Treasury Secretary?