Monday, January 30, 2012

Would Somebody, Somewhere, Please Write a Deus Ex Machina Ending for the Debt Crisis and Make It Go Away?

Day after day, week after week, month after miserable month...it's the European Debt Crisis. It simply won't go away and the people involved with trying to save the euro simply cannot accept that killing the euro and putting it out of it's misery is the only thing that makes any kind of sense.

Sometimes experiments just don't go well. Thomas Edison knew that. Thomas, like all great inventors, quit trying to force the things that did not work into working. Ultimately he tried new things until he either found something that worked- or he simply accepted that nothing would work. The problem went unsolved.  

The Europeans don't think like that. They keep trying to make something that doesn't work- work. And of course, like some macabre play- it just keeps getting worse and worse. It would be isolated and infinitely more comical if the implications for the U.S. weren't so dire.

People just don't realize it's one giant worldwide central banking scheme- and it's insolvent. Most people that is. There are those of us who do know that the greatest Ponzi scheme ever invented is almost over and we are busy hoarding precious metals and other essentials. Being called kooks.

So here's today's version of yesterday's, yesterweek's, yestermonth's, and yesteryear's news. http://money.cnn.com/2012/01/29/markets/eu_summit/index.htm

Here is my Deus Ex Machina solution for Europe. It goes like this. You are tucking in your child, 20 years from now. He has asked for a bedtime story. You are in a pissy mood so you grab a children's book and read him this.

Once upon a time, there were a bunch of different countries that used a bunch of different currencies. They thought it would be a swell idea to all use the same currency. Unfortunately, all of the countries had different cultures, different values, different governments, different economies, and different politicians. Many of the countries had serious debt concerns that they lied about and then later asked other countries to bail them out or they would be forced to abandon their shared currency. The countries with money starting demanding that the insolvent countries start living differently or they weren't getting any money. The broke countries told the rich countries to go pound sand.

Think about what happens when you loan relatives money and tell them what to do. 

This went on week after week, month after month, and year after year and then one day...the people of each of the bankrupt and insolvent countries found one thousand metric tons of gold on pallets which had been delivered to each of their capitol cities. Attached to the gold was a note from God. It said, "I am tired of you ding a lings trying to save this stupid currency. Every prayer, day after day, week after week, month after month. How much do you expect me to take? So here's some left over gold I had laying around. Please sell it to China and India. Save your stupid currency. I am running out of patience." Your truly, God.

And they all lived happily ever after.

4 comments:

Toaster 802 said...

Good one. Here is a slight twist...

This went on week after week, month after month, and year after year and then one day...the people of each of the bankrupt and insolvent countries found one thousand banksters, bureaucrats, and politicians hanging from lamp posts in each of their capitol cities. Attached to each of the bodies was a note from God. It said, "I am tired of you ding a lings trying to save this stupid system of national socialist government. Every prayer, day after day, week after week, month after month. How much do you expect me to take? So here's some biblical justice, just like I used to make it. Please start dispensing it yourself and save your stupid country. I am running out of patience." Your truly, God.

Hope you find it as funny as I found your version to be.

Brian said...

Toaster, I like your version much better. Ha!

Republican Mother said...

How about the heroic Icelanders who will lead the way out..
Iceland becomes the hero of the world..bet you didn't see that coming.

Always On Watch said...

The Euro is doomed: Portugal, Spain, Greece, and Ireland should never have been let into the EU in the first place. Those countries were unstable financially from the git go.