Sunday, January 22, 2012

The New Frankenstein Government Sunday Special Edition

Yesterday, I was at Home Despot buying a giant board for a garage repair. After getting it cut, I was headed for the checkout line. Arriving at approximately the same time but a step or two slower, was a woman in her mid forties. She pretended not to see me and of course, she steered her shopping cart with ten items directly in front of me. The board I was holding was a huge chunk of particle board which weighed about the same as a Volkswagon Jetta with air conditioning. Most people notice giant men with giant things in their hands. That ability has allowed me to claim age 51.

Ya know, I did have a female pedestrian get hit by a bus once. I asked her why she hadn't seen the bus. This pissed her off badly. Come to think of it, she may have a daughter that shops at Home Despot.

I had a strange thought strike me as I sought out a new check out line. Every time I seem to be cut off in a check out line, why does it always seem to be by women, some of which- pretend to be blind? How come I am never cut off by a man? Really, think about that.

I concluded that women think they are entitled to cut off men because society, usually men, allow women to do everything first. We hold doors for women, allow them to order first, we fix things and let them board the life rafts first. I am ok with all of that.

However, some women like the Home Despot gal, think they are entitled to then act like  prima donnas. That was my conclusion, erroneous as it may be.

Normally, I keep such observations and thoughts to myself. But fortunately, here at Frankenstein Government, I am not afraid to tackle the tough issues.

Especially since this story has a happy ending.

I carried the Jetta over to a neighboring line. The guy ahead of me was kind of disorganized and realized he had forgotten something as he was checking out. Unlike our female friend, he had complete use of his vision and saw that I was holding something larger than he. He invited me to go ahead of him. This was a man who was aware of his surroundings.

I have learned to say, "thank you" and I muster up a smile when such oddities happen. This little piece of divine providence catapulted me out of the store in record time because I pay with cash. Because of this good fortune, I decided to do something a little nasty on the spur of the moment. As I walked past the blind woman's line, I looked directly at her and winked. She mustered up her finest glare. I mustered up a smile.

I concluded that she was not blind after all. And just to let you know that I am not entirely sexist...

A couple of weeks ago, at the grocery store, I let a woman go ahead of me in the checkout line. Unlike the Home Despot gal, I had arrived in this line first. She was buying wine and nuts. I had the same kind of nuts. As it turns out, it was a buy one get the second can- 1/2 off kinda deal. My can of nuts did not have a coupon on it but hers did. She insisted on paying for my nuts to return my good deed. She called it good karma.

It was. I hope I see her at Home Despot some day.

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