Saturday, December 31, 2011

Sixteen Days of Hell

To be followed by 25 more.

On Dec. 15, I stuffed all 278 pounds of me into my size 36 Wranglers for the last time. Those are some really tough pants. They very nearly cut me in half that day. I have gained 40 lbs. since I quit smoking a year ago. That's hardly a novelty- having heard that same story from every ex smoker on the planet.

At any rate, using a "come-a-long" winch to put my pants on is the kind of thing that motivates me. Instantly, that day, I began the diet from hell.

I did not give two shits that Christmas was coming up. When I get determined to do something, nothing stops me. I thwarted cookies, fudge, chocolate, bread, egg nog. So today, I stepped on the scale at the gym. Exactly where I want to be, 262 lbs. I have lost a pound a day.

It has not been easy. I forget how much my version of the Atkin's diet on steroids sucks.

This is a typical day for me. A glass of V-8 juice, my prescription and vitamins. Go to the gym and burn 700 calories, about 4 miles worth of work. Come home and eat a salad. I make ginormous salads. A few hours later I have something like 3 brats with cheese and sauerkraut. Some nuts or pork rinds for a snack. Lots of water. I buy the carbonated stuff. Day after miserable day.

No carbs. No cookies, no bread, no fruit, no oatmeal. Then kill myself at the gym. As I write this- every part of me is sore except my ears. And my hair.

I don't know if I can live through this shit again. I'll tell you what a nut job I am. I am actually thinking of extending this a week through the end of the month if I haven't lost my original goal of 50 lbs.

Being healthy sucks. I should have just bought a bigger pair of pants. Maybe some smokes.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dude, V8 is loaded with carbs, watch what you put in the salad, carrots, tomatoes and others are loaded with carbs, watch the salad dressing too, most of it has sugar and soy added. Also watch the brand of kraut, some are loaded with sugar, and lots of sausages have sugar and fillers with tons of carbs. It's freaking disgusting what they add sugar to and how much. And don't eat anything with high fructose corn syrup, it's worse than sugar. You even have to look at things like mayo, the real mayo has no carbs and helps kill hunger, but lots of the little mayo packets in the stores aren't even real mayo, some concoction of soy and fillers and some even have sugar added. Oh and almost all of our commercially available fruits and some vegetables have been genetically modified to greatly increase the sugar content. Good luck.

Brian said...

lmao.