Tuesday, October 20, 2009

When You Kill Them, They Just Might Kill You Back

When I was kid, we had this bully that lived a few blocks away. Dude was mean. Parents fed him with a slingshot-which of course was one of those family traditions that never ends.

Now a lot of us were scared to death of that bully and I couldn't even convince the neighborhood kids to give this halfwit a blanket party.

Necessity really is the mother of invention. So I found the toughest kid I knew and paid him 20 bucks to beat the shit out of that kid and warn him to leave us alone. A lot of dough in 1970. It worked. Some of the best money I ever spent.

You see, that's how it was for me at age 10. The bully was 13. I never thought about killing this kid. That was insane. As I grew older, I learned that killing people is acceptable as long as you have a good reason. Or you can invent one. Killing people without getting killed yourself....well that's just good business.

So two things happened to me. I discovered that I had more sanity at age 10 than I did at 40. I also learned that inventing the next kick ass weapon and having the capacity and where with all to use it scared the hell out of everyone else. At age 10, my weapon of choice was named Garth G, age 15.

Now nearly 40 years later, the newest weapon for killing is called "Metal Storm." In fact, you don't even have to man it. It just starts leveling anything that moves. Great stuff as long as you invent it first-not so great when someone else invents it first and remembers that you were the kid that had Garth G. kick your ass. Karma will come this way.

1 comment:

CompleatPatriot said...

LMFAO, you could see that cloud of lead coming to..Hmmm, I wonder how many gold bars I gotta sacrifice to get one.