Moron Attempts To Steal, Then Kills Monkey at Boise Zoo

Who among us hasn't gotten drunk and thought, "Hey, I should go down to the local zoo tonght and steal one of those little monkeys. That sounds like a good idea." So I think a little compassion is in order here before we proceed.

Now to be fair, I do not know what level of stupidity one must attain in order to hatch the type of fiendish plot you will find at the link. I am not sure that booze alone will explain this away. http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/official-man-killed-zoo-monkey-theft-17782817#.ULR3hBz5knY

As you read the news article, a theme begins to emerge. The only thing that behaved like a rational human being in this story- was the monkey.

The lawyer in this story is doing what lawyers do. Hinting at another culpable party, trying to draw in a second gunman, hoping to use that undiscovered information to assist his client in receiving a reduced sentence. The lawyer blames drug and alcohol use, the death of an aunt, the illness of a grandmother, the unemployed status of the defendant, and then the birth of a child. The lawyer is thinking- maybe I will just flock shoot the entire gamut of available excuses for my client here and hope something works. Idaho doesn't have an insanity defense.

The judge is doing what judges do. The bond amount is set at 150, 000. Judges love to tell cops that bond amounts are only as high as they need to be to guarantee the accused's appearance in court. Cops always want high amounts. Judges claim they are not meant to be punitive because we have this fallacious concept that people are innocent until proven guilty. This of course is complete bullshit. Kill a little monkey at the zoo, in a town full of animal loving people, and you are going to get a 2nd degree murder style bond amount.

What judge wants to be remembered as the judge who cut the monkey murderer some slack at this year's Christmas party? Then the parents chime in. This level of unconsciousness explains everything to me. With parents  like these, things begin to make sense. Intelligent thought and taking responsibility for your actions does not seem to be present in this particular DNA strand. I shall leave you with a quote from Watkins' father, the monkey self defense claim. No additional commentary is needed.

"He's not a malicious monkey murderer," Watkins said. "I'm thinking the monkey attacked him and he just tried to defend himself. I don't think he ever intended to kill it; he's just not that kind of guy."