Monday, July 30, 2012

The Sun...Err...I Mean Monday Collage

I just got too busy this weekend doing nothing... to put anything up. Please don't cancel your subscriptions. Writing has been hard for me lately...

I think mostly it is because of the weather here in Boise. Every day now, it's a hunnert. Hunnert 3, hunnert 5, it just saps the energy outta me. I feel like I live in Vegas sans the cocktail waitresses and immense cleavage. Thank gawd the Y is air conditioned.

This summer is nasty hot. My lawn is burnt up. The City of Boise has figured out a new way to screw residents on water. I mean, you'd think the city owned the water. One hundred dollar a month water bills in the summer are the new normal.

I remember getting a 900 dollar monthly bill once for water on five acres in California near Santa Barbara. I instantly expelled all of the air from my lungs...

Moonbats love to see the government penalize people for doing such heinous things as using water. Water is a big concern of the statists' nowadays. If they could figure out a way to measure and sell us clean air- they would. They know all about environmental things. Just up the street from me is the Hillcrest Golf Course. I see a lot of blue girl, red state bumper stickers and Volvo libtard mobiles in the parking lot. The golf course uses lots of water.

Statists don't really care how much water they use- they are far more concerned with how much water you use.  

I have finally recovered from the ass blistering heat of the Grand Canyon motorcycle tour. I put new tires and brakes on Elvis. I keep toying with the idea of going to Sturgis this week especially since I have an uncle that lives close by. Sturgis is such a madhouse, I'll probably have to pass. Work gets a little miffed too, when I don't show up. They actually expect some level of performance for that giant salary they pay me. Speaking of which...

I applied for a job as a comedy writer this morning. This crew like all good employers- will want some outrageously witty and insanely humorous writing and then try to pay a microscopic amount for it. The ad called for a female writer. Are you kidding me? When I think of funny writers, authors or columnists, I think of men. Really. Hunter Thompson, Mike Royko, Patrick McManus, Dave Barry, Andy Rooney, Frankenstein Government. I just don't think of women.

Here is how my simple mind works. When I read a story about breastfeeding, I instantly think of women. Men are just no good at breastfeeding. Now that's not to say that some men don't have breasts... or that some man couldn't trick a baby into nursing... if only for just a moment before the howling starts. But the reality is, I just don't conjure up an image of some man with his big hairy boob poking out of his shirt- when the subject turns to breast feeding.

Men should not breastfeed children. Women should not try to write humorous things.

Screw em. I applied for the job anyway. The ad was one of those lame ads that tries to be funny but isn't. Couldn't help thinking some gal must have put it together. So it's only 94 degrees right now. It might not make a hunnert today. I have to take advantage of this cold snap and run to the Y. I hope they have the air conditioning on.

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