Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Frankenstein Government for Treasury Secretary

My pharmacist spent something like 6 years and 250k going to USC to learn how to count pills. She quickly points out that she must know the dangers of medications and how they interact with each other. I then counter that software can do that. Humans just interpret.

So who exactly counts out the pills and fills the bottles? Who answers the phone and does the work? The 10.00 dollar an hour pharmacy techs, that's who. The pharmacist, I suppose because she passed calculus and organic chemistry classes, makes 6 times what the real workers get. That's how it is in America.

I have often wondered how difficult being a pharmacist or let's say-a Treasury Secretary truly is. Each and every time I see Timothy Geithner this is what I see. Geithner spews a bunch of bullshit and makes ugly faces. A lot of scowling. He warns against the dangers of failing to raise the debt ceiling.  These are things that I can do. Hank Paulson did those things too, but he had to trick Congress and the American people by lying to them and stealing 700 billion from the treasury to bail out his Wall St. friends. I'm no good at that shit. Alan Greenspan, when he was the FED boss, could talk for 30 minutes and not say one fucking relevant thing. Now that he has left that job and our country is in a shambles- he has suddenly learned how to speak directly. I'm not sure whether spewing lies and rhetoric are necessary for both jobs but clearly Greenspan and Bernanke, Paulson and now Geithner- all think so.

So having observed these guys President Obama, I'd like to nominate myself for Treasury Secretary primarily because I think I can do a better job.

Here's a brief abstract of my resume.'

I don't have any friends to bail out. They are mostly cops and government workers. I'm not too bad at math. I know that you must have more money coming in than you are spending- I learned this painful lesson when those crooked bankers would charge me 30 bucks a check for "bounced" checks and overdraft fees when I failed to keep an accurate accounting of my spending. I can scowl on queue or spew circumlocuos bullshit for long periods of time. I am very photogenic. I can look important and wear suits and ties. I am not afraid of public speaking. I have paid all of my taxes. I can pass a polygraph test or a drug screen. I can kiss ass before the 2012 election. I can throw a baseball like a man and I play golf. When we play golf, I will let you win Mr. Obama. I am currently unemployed like half of the country so I will not have to give two weeks notice.

There, I think that just about does it. What's not to like? Please feel free to contact me here- maybe leave me that secret White House phone number in the comment box and I will call you right back.

Sincerely,

Frankenstein Government

3 comments:

conservativesonfire said...

If you need a character reference you can count on me not to lie.

davecydell said...

I will gladly lie for you. It being known that you have a liar as a character reference should be a big plus.

Tarun Kumar said...

you are right... you can also find latest government jobs alerts online.