Saturday, April 13, 2013

Calling Major Kong- The Sunday Collage

Remarkable in it's simplicity, this was a fantastic week. Virtually every economic indicator was terrible and the market continued to melt up. The only thing that could make this market any better or weirder it seems- would be if that fat little Nork dictator would start launching those nuclear missiles of his. We'd probably have a 3... maybe 400 point rally. I just can't get this picture out of my mind. For some reason, the Major reminds me of my friend Troy in Idaho Falls. You just have to click this. I want to be THAT guy.

Very often, and certainly since the great meltdown of 2008, I am in awe at the lengths government will go to try and hide the fact that we are bankrupt and insolvent. The great cover up seems to be working.

The emperor has some great clothes. Honest.

I had a week filled with gratitude. Gratitude that I still get a retirement check and that I don't have to kiss someone else's ass for 8 hours a day anymore. That is freedom and that is a beautiful thing. All day Friday, I witnessed the greatest single day collapse in the price of gold that I had ever witnessed. Down 85 bucks.

It was as though the world had returned to solvency, all debts were paid, and even Charles Manson had found a job.  All they ever talk about is jobs. They make them up. I do not want a job. Primarily because I hate working and secondarily, I got issues.

I have jobophobia. Everytime I think I want a job, this is what happens to me.

I have to fill out applications because resumes' don't work anymore. I have to jump through a series of online hoops which are usually a vast waste of time. Secretly I want to mark "pacific islander" and then scream if they don't give me an interview. If they do call, we schedule an interview. I have to dress up and then spend 45 minutes convincing someone that I have been yearning for this 10 dollar an hour job for most of my life. I have stopped short of calling the prospective job my "dream job" although that shit still works. It just seems like overkill anymore.

The worst thing that can happen is that every once in awhile, I will actually bullshit someone into offering me a job.

That's when my jobophobia strikes me. I am paralyzed with fear. Not only will they expect me to arrive at some pre determined place at an agreed upon time- but they will actually demand some level of performance and productivity. Coming from the government sector, this is a difficult concept for me to grasp. Not only that- but I will have to answer to some maniac with a brain the size of a walnut. Of course, the new guys always get the shittiest shifts.

Never work for a place that has turnover beyond 50% of the staff per year. I should have asked first.

I lost my last job because one of my co-workers, the guy who was screwing the director, decided to embarrass a client in front of his wife. Unfortunately, I listened to the client's complaint. When I challenged whether or not embarrassing clients in front of their wives and other visitors was entirely necessary- my employment there ended the following day.

If you wanna challenge authority it seems, you should at the very least, be sleeping with it.

Because that's how the real world operates. I hate the real world. It is run by shmucks. Can you imagine this year's graduates out looking for crappy jobs that pay less and less, with no benefits, armed with 100k in student debt, and working for shitheads? Woohoo! Where can I sign up?

You better be some ass kissing professionals that's all I've got to say. Obedient workers.

This is also the year that Obamacare will use as a base salary year for determining how much health care tax you have to pay in 2014. They are actually incentivizing me not to work.

So I think I am going to take that bait. Besides summer is here.

I am going to get up when I want, take a nap when I want, play golf when I want. I am going to spend a little extra time with mom and dad because we all ended up with a little extra time. Maybe I will go prospecting with my uncle, fishing on his jet boat, riding around the Black Hills on the Road King and generally living my life like I want to.

I got a promising future behind me, and I gotta say, I like it that way.


Anonymous said...

Brian, I totally agree with you. I am biding my time in my present job till they catch up with me.. and then they can all kiss my ass.

Anonymous said...

It looks like the central bankers can keep this going for a few more years. Japan and Europe will be the first to go down the drain. Then it will be our turn. Hang on to that gold and silver!